Category Archives: disgust

vivian:
i don’t remember much except a spider about the size of a half dollar is on my right hand. it bites me once there, and i try to shake it off, but to no avail. it climbs onto my left hand and goes up my sleeve and bites me twice more.

interpretation:
to see a spider in your dream indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. or that you may want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. the spider is also symbolic of feminine power. to dream that you are bitten by a spider, represents a conflict with your mother or some dominant female figure in your life. the dream may be a metaphor for a devouring mother or the feminine power to possess and entrap. perhaps you are feeling trapped by some relationship.

assessment of interpretation:
i’m currently in a foreign country, so maybe there’s some truth to it (although i don’t feel particularly out of place). i don’t have the best relationship with my mother, either, but it’s not something that was stressing me out yesterday, although it is stressing me out in general, i guess.

alex:
this woman and i are walking a baby penguin, or a baby something. it’s a bird. its back is black. its wings are flipperish. it can swim. it has some yellow spikey feathers near its head, though, so it isn’t exactly a penguin. looks like a penguin with a little yellow crown, i guess, or a mohawk. i don’t know. this is a weird walk, cause we are somewhere tropical, walking along a beach. there is a little island not far from shore at all, so we swim, and the bird follows like it’s a dog or something, always 5-20 feet away, checking stuff out and coming closer if we get too far apart. in any case, asides from the awesomeness of walking a baby penguin… the only thing that happens beyond that is that at one point during our swim, we come near a tiny little island that is a nesting ground for some other type of bird… and little penguin just climbs out of the water with its flipperwings and tries to walk across it. it gets pounced and partially ravaged by some birds there. i think they’re going to kill it because they’re so much bigger, but i make it out of the water before the penguin’s too badly injured, and i throw ghandfuls of gravel/sand at the birds and they give us some room. we walk off the island and continue.

then i have a dream about walking through some really psychedelic woods. the lighting is all weird. huge amounts of aqua and light blues. occasionally mild oranges and reds. the place is full of snakes. i am mostly running the whole time because i think the snakes are the least of my worries, though i can’t remember why. there are crazy mushrooms in there. it’s a stoner dream, emo. i have to be cautious as i near the various snakes, and then after that, i can see where everything is, so i would sprint a bit and then go back to being stealthy. i think it may have physically connected to the other dream — like maybe i swam out of the water onto an island which contains these woods, but the woman and penguin are gone and the feeling is more nightmarish. i don’t know.

after that, i find a building. it’s really big. it’s like an old 1960’s hospital or something. then the dream turns rather zombie-apocalypse. i forget what happens exactly, but i am under the impression that i have been running out of the woods from zombies. in any case, i’m picking my way through the well-lit hospital, and there is mos def scary shit around, but it sounds pretty far away. i hear someone scream in the distance on occasion, but the hallway that i’m in is pretty much dead… i’m just trying to find people. it’s a full-on nightmare at this point.. my dreams have a certain flavor to them when they are nightmares. something can be a nightmare without anything particualrly bad happening (though something bad usually happens). to describe the feeling… i’d say its like sitting at the movies and watching a horror film… but you haven’t seen any blood and guts yet. it has that feel.. and your mind looks for something sinister even during the mundane plot development. thats what my nightmares feel like… something bad is going to happen at some point. so then, i’m crossing a bridge between wings of the hospital (not too disimilar to the layout of a hospital i worked at when i was 14-18) and the sounds of people yelling get much, much closer, and i think they’re further down the same hall i’m in. i start running towards the sounds, and i notice a row of operating tables occupying the left wall of this wide hallway. i hear the people very close now… but i’m temporarily more intested in what’s on these tables. there are a few corpses… some fresh, some old (though there is no smell/flies/anything, really). some have white sheets, but there is one table that has a naked female lying on her side. her body is painted silver. the paint is thick; it can almost be a skin-tight suit, but i think it’s more like latex paint or something. her face is completely painted over, obscuring any facial features. there are crimson lines in the paint. i’m not sure why exactly. they mostly look decorative. one may have been a belt. another may have been a shoulder strap… and then there is a wide oval circling where both her eyes would’ve been, as if she were some sort of silver cyclops. her mouth is smoothed over by this latex-like metalic silver mask/suit thing. her hair is dirty grey-beige and looks like a wet hairbrush. it’s unclear if she is really a human body or more like some weakly-featured scuplture. it’s also unclear how her hair comes out of this suit, given that her body is pretty much sealed by it… which makes me think, maybe it is skin. in any case, my fascination with the silver corpse comes to an end as numerous people come running down the hall… perhaps 6-10 people, and they slam a door at the end of the hall. they are panting and yelling at each other. then they see me, they say some things to me, and i’m not sure what’s going on. they were running from something, for sure. they are talking a million miles a minute at me. i’m not sure whats going on. and then the sivler corpse moves a little bit. everyone starts screaming, and someone yells something about a “silver shrieker”… or it was something like that. they all scatter. i just stand there staring at her. she grabs a syringe from near her operating table and starts to scratch at where her eyes would be. i see the silver tear. there is something gooey and beige/grey underneath. it’s mucousy as the silver peels back from whatever is underneath. something yells at me, “DON’T LET HER SEE YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOINGGGG!” it occurs to me that i am super fucked, and the fear of the group possess me. her face is almost free of whatever that silver stuff is, and she is going to see me, so i dive into a room which is immediately behind me and across from her. it makes a lot of noise, and three people are in there cowering. i hide just around the corner from the doorway (there is no door), and just as fast as i make it there, i hear the silver woman pounce off her table onto the floor and scamper towards me. her face comes around the edge of the door and pauses one foot away from me. i’m holding super still, trying not to breathe, but her face is terrifying. the flesh near her eyes just sinks like the interior of a flower… sinks towards a tiny stem that comes out like the male sex organ of a flower. the tiny stems that must be eyes or some form of sensory organ are a dark blood-ish purple.. and they move very slowly as if tasting the air. it’s like a decay flesh flower, or perhaps like the tongue of a snake, at the same time. her mouth is huge and lipless… large teeth, all canines interlock… and she opens her mouth and mucous and slimy shit is pulled apart as the teeth separate. i’m so scared that i start to hyperventilate. i’m trying to control the movement of my chest. it’s very mild; i hope she cant see me breathing. i’m guessing she can’t see if i don’t move because she hasn’t killed me yet, but the panic in me is getting so strong she has to go away or surely she will see me moving. i’m trying so hard to control my breathing that i am almost completely physically awake at this point. but the dream continues, very shallowly as she backs out of the room and i hear her fleshy feet pat their way down the hall. i don’t plan on moving for the next hour and then i fully wake up.

jason:
i don’t remember the setup, but i was outside and something bad happened.  a bunch of creatures in the area were affected, including a cute-looking baby raccoon, and i knew that I needed to kill it now.  i had a specific reason for killing it at the time, but i can’t remember it.  i tried to strangle it first, but that didn’t work… it was too fluffy or something.  so i had to snap its neck against the ground.  i don’t think it felt much (it didn’t fuss) but i still felt REALLY bad, cause y’know, i didn’t want to kill the cute baby raccoon.  it didn’t bleed at all, but afterward there was its blood on my hands.  i didn’t even try and wipe it off.

tammy:
i went to the school/gym sort of place where a bunch of people i knew were. when i got there, there was all this commotion. i found out that a girl had been murdered and was hanging from a shower head. by the time i got there, they had put up a tarp-like material over her, but she was still hanging. in this school/gym place, there were a lot of shower stalls, but the one the girl was murdered in was the one in the front corner. as i was walking around after that trying to figure out what to do, i saw this girl i went to high school with named jessica. she was sitting and we started talking and she offered me a cookie (chips ahoy like?). then my brother came up to us and i was waiting for him to let me know what i should do. instead i just noticed that his jacket was a puffy jacket that was too big for him – which i found odd b/c he normally wears pretty stylish/fitted clothing. the end.

tammy:
i dont know where i was going, but i was with two other people and we were on a boat of sorts, but not really. i felt like i was just sitting on something, someone was sitting behind me, and the last person was controlling the motor/pedaling. we were on a lake or something, and i was really scared because i thought it was really dirty and i kept thinking if i should put my feet in the water or not. i didn’t have much of a choice though, because it took so much effort to keep my feet straight and out of the water. i saw movements in the water, and that scared me. while we were going along, i saw a fire on the water and freaked out, but we pedaled away safely.

as we were nearing water, i saw 2 guys in the water and they came towards us. when they got to us they started pulling my legs and off the contraption that we had. one guy was like rubbing my legs, and i was like “they are so prickly!” we got to land and they started chasing us and the person i was with was like, “the italian guys!” we ran into something that is similar to a school. we ran into a bathroom and we went to the bathroom and the person i was with went to the bathroom and some other person in the bathroom was like, “ew did you sit on the toilet? my kids would like you.” we left the bathroom and saw two small children in the bathroom too.

later in the dream, it seemed like we were filming some sort of movie. it was supposed to be scary/funny or something. i had ended up doing a kissing scene with a friend, but my friend had dressed like he was hella old and i couldn’t even recognize him. my face was hella disgusted during the kissing scene. my friend sharon was locked outside of where we were filming and eventually made her way to another window to watch. she was eating dried fruit. when i was done filming, i grabbed some dried mango to eat.

as they continued filming, kevin was taking pictures of this other guy in the scene and the guy who just kissed me and the guy in the scene had like alien fingers! which was funny because we usually make fun of kevin for having long fingers. we compared the two fingers and kevin didn’t even reach half of the guys finger(s).

vivian:
alex is in my car. we’re going somewhere and i don’t recall if i’m driving or directing him. but there is some confusion… we’re supposed to go make a left turn but instead he or i drives straight. straight lands us in tons of traffic. but there’s more… on the opposite side of a street i see a dead man — seemingly unscathed, like he is sleeping — lying on the ground between two cars. no cars are moving on that side of the street. a giant intersection lies ahead, with no cars in it, either. but to the left, near the traffic light on the opposite side of the road from where we are, there is a guy whose skin is half burnt and melted off… he seems half… skinned, almost. it’s gross and he is very pink in the skin. up ahead, across the intersection, is an ambulance and some more dead people. huge accident, although no destroyed cars are in sight — only destroyed people.

pwny:
i don’t remember much about the start of this dream but i had a heart attack (which i experienced the pain and internal feeling) and was in the hospital.

i had the feeling that something was very wrong with me and that the problem was above the heads of the doctors that were treating me. i demanded to be seen by doctor house. they refused.

eventually i end up having a second heart attack. somehow i now realize that i have a large clot running around my circulatory system that could kill me at any moment if it went to my brain/lungs/heart(again). the doctors do not believe me.

as i’m trying to explain how dangerous my situation is i start to feel pressure and pain build up in my right leg/hip area. i deduce that the clot is causing an infarction (the same thing that caused house’s leg issue). i try to push the clot through with my hands and all of a sudden it breaks free and the pressure in my legs is massive. it feels like i’m forcing playdough through my arteries. the clot starts to run through my arteries/veins but the clot is massive. so much so that my veins and arteries are buldging off my skin and i can see the clot running through my entire leg.

one doctor tells me that it’s not just a regular clot. somehow there is fecal matter mixed in there as well. they finally believe that i’m in great danger. i insist that they give me blood thinners to thin out the clot (ps: i don’t think this works) but they are arguing amongst themselves. despite the fact that i’m seemingly going to die at any moment i’m much more confident now that my case is weird enough that doctor house would have to take it.

vivian:
i’m living in a house with alex, lenny, and some of lenny’s co-workers from microsoft. these are co-workers i have not heard of before — they were nameless. anyway, we were talking really late at night, like 4am, and lenny was talking about one of the guys who lived there. he was 50 and trying to get with a 25 year old. i was ranting about how it was gross and he was old enough to be her dad. somehow this thought about a guy being old enough to be a girl’s dad seemed like a NEW idea to me, even though it obviously isn’t.

the guy overheard me at this point and started screaming as he was coming down the stairs, saying, “who shared that information??” (or something along those lines, but more hostile…) he was screaming into the kitchen / living room area, where we were (alex and i were on the couch in the living room and lenny was in the kitchen). he never came into our room, though, and left for work in a huff. lenny was slightly scared about going to work later, i think.

vivian:
i send out a myspace bulletin asking if anyone wants to go to a movie with me, which is odd behavior to begin with. i don’t recall anyone responding, but before i know it, i’m at lars’ apartment complex and to get to his apartment, we have to cross through a metal gate and then walk down this like, really shallow sloped hallway. he has a deflated ball the size of a baseball in his hand and holds it up, smiling. i’m not sure why, but then i see that he has thrown it town the sloped area and was trying to make it hit the button to the left of the door that automatically makes the door opened for handicapped people. he misses, so i try. then a couple other people show up — i think eugene and someone else equally random — and i try throwing the ball at the handicapped door opener thing. but there are all sorts of people out and about now, and i’m afraid of accidentally hitting someone. also, now the ceiling is lower and it seems near impossible to be able to throw the ball and hit the opener. i make a vague, weak attempt and fail at hitting it, by a long shot.

so eventually we go onto the movie theatre, which is in olympia. the quest there is not something that i remember; i only remember actually being there. it’s in an old movie house with dark carpeting and dim lighting. i’m standing around the snack dispensing counter area and now lenny is here… him, lars, and eugene (or maybe random guy) run off into another room and start chatting it up. i’m with some other people who i don’t know but i think i am speaking to? a lot of time passes, or at least it feels like it, and i’m not sure exactly what time the movie starts but i feel like maybe it has already started, so i run into the other room and tell the three boys it’s time to go watch the movie. they seem rather surprised.

we go to the rooms with the theatres, and they are these little tiny rooms set up like dining rooms. they have tables and chairs strewn throughout. we sit in the far right corner (upon first walking in). i need to go to the bathroom so i tell the three of them that i’ll be right back. i go to the bathroom. it’s white tile. it’s crowded. there are three people in stalls already and one girl in front of me, who soon goes into a stall. the girl behind me grabs a key from somewhere in that bathroom and leaves, saying she is going to use the kitchen bathroom.

finally a couple girls are done. one opens the door and the floor is all wet. i think that’s gross, but it’s no big deal. then she says, “i think i already clogged it.” i look and there is just poop all over the floor — these huge ass long ass poops. and inside the toilet bowls too. three other stalls open up. they are all the same. just fucking covered with shit. i don’t know if i actually go poop because it is all so disgusting. i see two mini-sinks and think about using those for pooping somehow but i don’t. fuck, it’s pretty gross. words cannot describe the grossness… although, strangely, it didn’t smell? O__o

i go back to the movie room and the three boys are still sitting in the same table configuration (lenny to my left, lars to my across diagonal, random person to my across), but the table is located elsewhere now. it’s no longer the corner table. lenny says, “you were gone ten minutes!” like that was a long time or something. him and lars are going to start a business together or something… the movie has amazingly still not begun yet.

jeanette:
i asked for exciting, and i got way more than i asked for! here it goes: from what i remember, the beginning of my dream places me in a car driving down the freeway. it didn’t look familiar but i knew i was driving to torrance (where my best friend lives in real life). that places me on the 405 freeway. as i’m driving among many many MANY cars (but, oddly – there isn’t traffic) there are flames bursting out from the side. building and parking structures are on fire, wild flames everywhere spilling onto the freeway. i can see in the distance up ahead that as cars pass the flames, some are blowing up. i’m nervous but not as nervous as i would be in real life! i keep driving amongst all the cars…now that i think about it, there were SO MANY CARS on the freeway but we were all going at a decent pace. (it’s LA…this NEVER happens, even when there are a medium amount of cars on the road there is traffic!) anyways!

next scene jumps to me on the street. i guess i parked my car and ?? there were a handful of people on foot around me (no cars) and i ask “how do i get to torrance?” and this asian lady says she will help me. next scene is the lady and i walking at a high school (junior high?) school building and up and down a few stairs. then a corridor opens and another asian lady speaks to her in mandarin. i acknowledge that i speak mandarin as well. all of a sudden, i realize that they are part of church group. then we end up in the parking lot, next to the school’s field (tennis courts, football field, etc.) and the lady offers me clean slippers to get in her car with. i tell her my flip flops aren’t that dirty and that i’ll just take them off and hold them in the car. end of this scene.

i end up on the sidewalk of some street with lots of cafes and restaurants. the ex (who i shall name TE) keeps calling me, asking me where i am and what time i will be home. this is all really strange because, who cares where i am and when i’ll be home…#1 we’re not together #2 you live far away in a different country so what is it to you. all of a sudden, i recognize a group of people (i actually don’t know who they are now) and i realize they are friends of TE. then i piece it together — he must be here. (i’m pretty sure this was all taking place in LA, even though none of the locations are familiar) then it cuts to a scene where i’m talking to TE and giving him a piece of my mind. actually… telling him all these things i have been thinking for the past few weeks in real life. just dishing it all out and calling him out on a few things. words are exchanged and for personal reasons i’m just going to cut to: i tell him that let’s hug, because this is the last time i am going to see you because i never want to see or talk to you again. we never hug.

i wake up.

inspiration: i hate that TE is in the majority of my dreams since the break-up.

future: on my way to work this morning there was traffic, but i didn’t think anything because heck, i live in LA there is always traffic. all of a sudden, in the distance, i see crazy thick grey smoke, hurling intensely into the air, above the freeway overpass. i’m thinking, holy shit… holy shit!!! and sure enough, there are about 7 firemen and a handful of policemen around a 2-car crash, the people from the accident aren’t in sight (evacuated?), and crazy thick grey smoke coming out of an older 2-door BMW. it had clearly been on fire from a collision and the fire had been put out and it was just smoking like crazy. fire on freeway and cars blowing up in my dream – real car on fire on my way to work. gahhhh!!