a restaurant menu from hell.

chol, jennie, someone i am with, and i go to eat dinner at this dimly-lit restaurant. we enter and go straight to the back to sit at an outside table… like shitty metal table and shitty metal chairs type thing. i think anyway. maybe there was a tablecloth. anyway.

chol had chosen the restaurant because he had been there once. he suggested the platter with things like “fried dumplings” on it. i was not entirely stoked on the matter and jennie seemed to be in the same boat as i on that regard. there was a mention about how i didn’t want to eat fried foods. jennie did find something on the menu worth eating. i didn’t.

i was flipping through the menu and there’s just nasty ass shit. there’s like these photos of snails and then there’d be like, one of those “enlargement circles” that zoomed in closely on what the snails looked like in detail. they were really, really small snails… like… half of your pinky nail in size. i don’t even know how someone would eat that, but it was on the menu. above that was something else equally gross, with the same enlargement circle, but i don’t remember what it was.

the waitress came by and i was going to point at some dish and ask about it but for some reason she thought i had pointed at “monkey brains,” and began to say that it was great, but was i ready to eat it? i adamantly said, no no no no that is not what i was pointing at… but i’m not sure what i was pointing at to begin with. i guess me and the waitress left the table and went off to the inside of the restaurant… inside, she showed me a different menu with some more savory appetizer options, like cheese stuffed jalapenos and some other simple things. i was not understanding quite why this menu was not given to us initially but she didn’t much explain.

the chef came by at some point to give her a dish or talk to her, as i was talking to her. he had a dark mustache and possibly a dark beard. had an accent, although i’m not sure what kind — it was just a feeling i had.

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