my perception is fucked.

everything i see is different from what is in reality. my perception is all fucked. kristin cerniglia has the same problem or had the same problem; she has found a way to overcome it. she seems reluctant to share the details with me or something. i am standing outside in a yard freaking out because my perception is screwed up there (i forget how exactly) and i call her up. her voicemail is a shared voicemail between her and her boyfriend, and the message goes on for seemingly forever. and it was just a bunch of rambling, and even stranger was the fact that the voice was “hers” but didn’t sound like hers at all. at the end of the voicemail thing, there wasn’t even a way for me to be able to leave a message.

later on, i’m in a building and some old guys try and help me out because they believe me. i explain to them my situation and they devise these weird experiments. i think there are like four of them, and two of them leave the room to grab nails, i think, and the other two left screw some weird screws into a chair that already has holes for the screws. like……….. imagine the seat of the chair has slots that make it look like side 5 of a 6-sided dice… that’s where they put the screws in. they’re trying to see if maybe my perception will screw up the distance from one screw to another… strange stuff. the other two guys don’t come back or maybe they do. i don’t remember what my perception of the chair was like, but one of the guys to my right — the most talkative one — says for me to picture the chair in my head and slowly remove each screw from the chair one by one, and that that would somehow help cleanse me of my perception problem. i try doing it and it feels weird in my head as i remove each screw… but because it feels weird, i assume that perhaps it is doing something…?

something about joining an artist collective group. i think by this point i consciously knew that my ‘perception was skewed’ and was trying to make it skewed as much as possible. was looking at a lot of art and it all looked a little off. don’t know details.

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