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significant others

vivian:
[#1]
Troy Two and I are discussing the need to travel somewhere. He buys me a really beautiful loaf of bread, it is green on the surface, like it has been rubbed with a pesto. It is from France, or something, or represents France. It is supposed to be a surprise, and he is preparing to give it to me, even though I already kind of know about its existence. We move from one table to another (I think). We are sitting at a table. Shawn comes in and begins talking to him. Troy is already eating a piece of bread, like a large piece, just holding it in his left hand and ripping off pieces. I soon look at the table and realize that the piece of bread he was supposed to give me is half-eaten, all of the crispier edges of it bitten off. What’s left is the inside hunk, and I say something along the lines of how, wasn’t that bread for me? And he looks embarrassed, maybe, and apologetic, but the next time I look at the table, he has eaten it all, and I think he may have apologized again, but I say something like, “It’s funny, because I mentioned it when you had only half eaten it, but you still ate it all anyway…” and I am laughing as I say this, but it seems like an offense at the same time.

Bread
To see bread in your dream represents the basic needs of life. Bread may signify the positive qualities and great things you have learned on your journey of life. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to rise above the situation or rise for the occasion. Bread has always been symbolic of life itself. In its highest aspect it is considered to be spiritual nourishment – manna. It can also represent the need to share spiritual knowledge. To be sharing bread in a dream represents our ability to share our experience with others so that they may learn.

Assessment of Interpretations
I don’t know; both of these dreams are extremely disturbing to me.

[#2]
I am in an apartment. Maybe the same one as before, but the vibe has changed. Bunch of us are in a room. Jeanette is there, Troy One is there, Tin-Win is there. I am sitting far away from them all, towards the door to the room, on the floor, and I am – I think – typing on the computer. At some point, Jeanette and Troy One are on a bed and Tin-Win is kneeling on the ground before them, both legs, and is asking Jeanette some questions. Jeanette mentions some accomplishment as I am headed to the bathroom (joined to the room) – I don’t even GO to the bathroom, I just walk into there and hang out – and Tin-Win questions a bit rudely how Jeanette got that role, and Jeanette gets offended. I guess Jeanette basically hung around somewhere for a long time until she finally got the job or recognition she wanted, and Tin-Win is frowning upon her for that. Troy One chimes in and says that he basically did the same thing at his job – editing for a magazine is what I gather – and that he just hung around and now he is the second-highest ranked or paid individual at his company. In my mind, I feel like even though that may be true, he probably still doesn’t get paid that much, and I don’t know if that is my own real-life bias and bitterness or if it is dream truth. Meanwhile, I have returned and am standing on the bed near the wall and am either writing on a laptop in standing position or I am writing on a piece of paper against the wall. I am not sure why I am in this position but it is very apparent that I am purposely standing rather than sitting. I do note at some point – not sure if this is before I go to the bathroom or after – that I am doing writing work on the computer but I think that Troy One is doing it by hand somehow. I feel like Jeanette is also on a computer or writing. Unsure.

Fast-forward, and we’re in a car. I’m sitting in the back right seat, behind Troy One. Someone – maybe Tin-Win though I think not – is sitting in the back left seat. Someone else – maybe Jeanette – is driving. Troy One has headphones on and is not paying attention. I have somehow gotten some really horrible song stuck in my head – like Coldplay or something – and I am singing its chorus over and over again, and a little bit embarrassed for doing so, but I do it anyway. I want so badly to talk to Troy One, have an overwhelming desires to put my arm around him and to rip off his headphones and talk to him. But I don’t, and we never speak to one another, in either dream.

Apartment
To dream about an apartment symbolizes a financial or situational state. To dream of a large, lavish apartment indicates an increase to your financial situation or an improvement to your family life. To dream of a shabby and dark apartment indicates misfortune and possible loss.

Standing
To dream that you are standing suggests that you are asserting yourself and making your thoughts and feelings known. Be proud. You need to make a “stand”. Alternatively, the dream means that you are detached from your surroundings.

Assessment of Interpretations
I don’t know; both of these dreams are extremely disturbing to me.

the police are looking for george clooney in a city with super narrow streets and high walls (kind of like siena in italy, or something). they are looking for a really long time and finally give up. i run into him after the chase is over, and i run to him. i jump up and hug onto him, like a koala bear, and am bawling FURIOUSLY. (i have never cried like this in a dream or in real life.) soon thereafter, he lets me down and says, “but i am going to see you in a couple days!” and i instantly start laughing, pretty hysterically, and go on my merry way again.

inspiration:
troy [m] was totally on tour when i had this dream. i didn’t realize this until the moment i was retelling the dream to him, but it was totally about him… and at the point when i had the dream, he was totally coming back in two days’ time. ridiculous!

interpretation for “police”:
To see the police in your dream, symbolizes structure, rules, power, authority and control. You need to put an end to your reckless behavior or else the law will catch up to you. Alternatively, the dream refers to failure in honoring your obligation and commitments. If the police are trying to arrest you for some crime of which you are innocent, it foretells that you will successfully outstrip rivalry. If the arrest is just, you will have a seas on of unfortunate incidents. To see police on paro le, indicates alarming fluctuations in affairs.

interpretation for “crying”:
To dream of crying, is a forerunner of illusory pleasures, which will subside into gloom, and distressing influences affecting for evil business engagements and domestic affairs. To see others crying, forbodes unexpected calls for aid from you. // To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day.

interpretation for “tears”:
To dream that you are in tears, signify that you are undergoing a period of healing in your life. The tears symbolize compassion, emotional healing and spiritual cleansing. Alternatively, tears indicate pain.

interpretation for “laughing”:
To dream that you laugh and feel cheerful, means success in your undertakings, and bright companions socially. Laughing immoderately at some weird object, denotes disappointment and lack of harmony in your surroundings. To hear the happy laughter of children, means joy and health to the dreamer. To laugh at the discomfiture of others, denotes that you will wilfully injure your friends to gratify your own selfish desires. To hear mocking laughter, denotes illness and disappointing affairs. // To hear laughing or dream that you are laughing, suggests that you need to lighten up and let go of your problems. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Laughing is also a sign of joyous release and pleasure. If you are being laughed at, then it indicates your insecurities and fears of not being accepted.

assessment of interpretations:
i have no idea what to make of the quick changes in emotion. pretty interesting.

alex:
my former client isn’t actually a fitness buff; rather, he’s a cashier at a gay hair salon, turned con man. later in same dream, there’s this girl wearing weird-looking lacey underwear and a tank top, and she is just standing in the street talking trash about how she can have any man she wants. i’m walking by with karen and as we walk by, i guess she hits karen in the face. i didn’t see it. it wasn’t super hard — just like, a mild slap, except she had ink on her hand, so now karen has this black ink mark on the side of her face, but it looks more like a tattoo because it has a spider web in it (??). we walk maybe another twenty feet before i see it, and i’m like, “wtf? she did that to you?” and i’m like, “well, let’s deal with the bitch,” so i go back on her, and i’m like, “hey, i see you bested my girlfriend. you’re looking finnnnneeee,” and karen’s like, “???”. as the girl steps closer, i hit her in the face and she falls to the ground. i drag her to the side and i’m like to karen, “c’mere,” and so we beat the girl up. i’m not sure the girl cares, and then we’re going to rape the girl (???) but then she turns into a cat. so there, i was pinning a cat down, and my brain had enough wtf, and i woke up.

vivian:
i’m with nick from couchsurfing, and we go to a movie. jeanette is sitting next to me briefly and she asks if he’s the guy we met this other day at dinner, but evidently, that was peter, who is also from couchsurfing. at one point, nick said something about making dinner sometime even though he was leaving for colorado, and i put my hand on his cheek and kinda pulled his head towards mine so that the sides of our heads touched, and said, “aww.” eventually, he pulls his arm super awkwardly around my shoulder and it seems he is kind of trying to feel down my pants, which is awkward a little, given the setting. i looked over and he is naked on his bottom half. i don’t see anything because his shirt is long and covers things, but i know he’s wearing no pants.

we leave shortly after and pass by this apple grove area that becky and emme own. i switch to an out-of-my-body view and see them picking fruits. before leaving the theatre (way back when), jeanette left but nick said he’d go home with me for cooking purposes. in my mind, it seemed that we had already eaten, although we hadn’t in the dream. he said something about whether chris could hear my bed, and i wondered how he knew chris in the first place. we get there to my house and don’t really go inside for a while. my house is not my actual house; it’s a pretty tall, kind of old, tan-colored apartment building that is nearly as wide as it is tall (although i think it’s slightly taller).

outside, some people have dumped a FUCKLOAD of water on the street at the top of the hill, and it all floods down the streets and sends everyone down the asphalt hill, like a giant waterslide or something. one naked large fat lady in particular stands out. i join the crowd briefly by falling into the water, stomach-first, fully-clothed, but the water fails to move me, even though it’s moving people much larger than me. i go to nick, who is standing on the side of the road, and now he’s not a white dude, but a black dude. we go inside and it’s actually not my house, but a restaurant. i tell nick about the fat naked lady, saying that she had the body of pam, like that painted a perfect picture or something. he’s not black anymore, or white. he’s asian, and he has really long hair flowing down past his shoulders and suddenly, i find myself very unattracted to him.

inspiration: i talked to nick before sleeping… about replacing my camera and some uncertain things.

vivian:
micah cheating on me… or maybe not… because i don’t know if we’re together or if i’m just jealous. i think i’m trying to get back with him and then, although i thought he’s only been with one girl since, he’s been with like six or seven. and this is bothersome, and i think that it is not possible that we can be together because that is too disgusting.

jeanette:
last night’s dream was really weird. part of it, i was with mike and jenn. mike’s friend had committed suicide. and we were talking about (or knew somehow) how he did it, and then all of a sudden he moved, and we were like WTF. and then he moved again and then sat up and was ALIVE. so weird.

and then the other part of the dream i was on vacation somewhere in CA with my family and all of a sudden, i saw tom. i didn’t recognize him right away but did after a bit and he was with 3 girls (1 blonde) and i assumed one was his GF and was SO PISSED that he was in CA without even telling me even though we had just spoken (which we haven’t really, just a short nonchalant email about some youtube video last week). then he ran after me and was like, “no, that’s not my gf.”

and that’s all i remember from the dream. but i remember it being really random and convoluted w/random scenes etc.

tammy:
a group of us were going to go to wild waves and i had packed and was driving, when i called anna to be like, “isn’t it cheaper for us to buy our ticket somewhere else?” and anna was like, “go to safeway.” that moment i realized she was in the car ahead of me. all of a sudden, i go down and see this hella steep hill ahead of my car, and i freak out for a bit. i end up almost home, because i’ve somehow made a circle? i was pissed. then i thought about calling raymond to come but i didn’t. i called hye instead. we were at a gas station next and don was there. and he goes, “why is (someone’s name) brother’s best friend here with another girl?” i look up and see this guy i know, and i’m like, “what’s his girlfriend’s name?” and don says, “pickle.”

vivian:
escaping from zombies. i’m in a house, and some guys who look like cops are coming. there’s one really tall and buff guy, in particular. not really sure how i know what he looks like… think i see a movie-like third-person shot of him outside my house and somehow put together that he is this bad dude who is coming for me. i don’t know who i’m with, but it’s a boy. i crack open a window and kick out the mesh and leave from it. the boy hesitates because he wants to see some new dragonball z game. i shall not tolerate that ridiculousness and tell him he needs to come. he finally concedes.

we run through the streets — but perhaps i am now alone — and now zombies are frothing at the mouth and trying to beckon us (or me) to join them… they have kind of a goo trail from their mouths and the second you touch it, you turn into a zombie.

before i know it, i’m at this house. i guess my parents live there? it’s this really nice house up on top of a GIANT hill. like giant. like a mountain. when i first get there, there are no zombies. soon, my mom sees them approaching down below on our giant garden / lawn. she tells this to my dad and he is less angry about the idea than he is about the idea of zombies trampling his garden. (both of my parents are white.)

inside the main entry way of our house are all kinds of pots… of the gardening variety. they are empty. they are arranged in some fancypants way. soon, zombies appear at our door. i decide to use some of the giant gardening porcelain pots to attack the zombies with. on the walkway in front of our house, there is basically a giant cliff. the stairway up runs along to the right side, but immediately in front of the door is just a space for standing, and behind that is a long ways down to the ground below.

zombies come solo for a while — a lot of girls, i think — and i use the giant pot to push them off the cliff to down below. some fall in a pool. some splatter to their death. they certainly all die. i hear some zombie mentioning that ## of zombies are dead out of ## who have been converted, and the number that was dead was sooooo small compared to the number that had been converted.

the zombies keep coming, some in pairs, and i keep pushing them off. it seems my parents have disappeared. i’m running out of pots, because i would sometimes throw the pots off with the zombies.

but soon comes this guy that doesn’t look like a zombie. it’s extremely surprising. he is this extremely good-looking dirty blonde guy wearing a white shirt and grey jeans. i pretty much forget all about the danger, and my first words to him are something like, “if i can be a zombie with you for eternity, i’ll do it.” i reckon he is amused by this sentiment, and comes in. the zombies have gone away for the evening. he tells me he’s a ‘turner’ and somehow i know exactly what that means — he can turn zombies back into humans.

this is a thought that fascinates me. so he tries it on me. we kiss. he turns when i turn. i guess he has zombie in him, but it’s dormant. the process is slightly painful and i feel a little “green” and like i have boils on my body. it’s a little dizzying. but that’s about it.

my new lover takes the time to try and turn some mega harmless girl zombie who is in the corner of the house, not attacking anyone. he puts his hand on her leg and it is quite obviously painful to transform from a zombie to a human. he turns human as he’s doing this, but it’s difficult for him to heal her because she’s being a pussy and can’t handle the pain. she brushes him off and shakes her head at him. she’s content being a zombie.

more kissing turns me back from a zombie into a human. he doesn’t turn from a human back into a zombie. it also doesn’t really hurt — perhaps because it hurts more the longer you’ve been a zombie and i’d only been one for a very brief time.

we spend the night cuddled up on the couch with two other people there — presumably tinwin and karen — and zombies don’t come in the night for some reason. i am amazingly content.

come morning, zombies stir me awake. so up until now, when i had been attacking zombies at my door with pots, i would open the door to greet them — to surprise them — and push them off the cliff before they ever got to the point of knocking on the door or breaking it. this morning, i see two zombies outside my door and open the door to do what i had done before. (there is like, one large brown porcelain pot left in the house, not including the one i have in my hand.) to my surprise, there are more than two zombies in front of my door. the other ones are being sneaky, and have wrapped themselves around the side of the house, near the stairs. oh shit. they’re forcing their way in, and force me in by pushing the pot.

and then i sees it. zombie lenny. zombie lenny is holding a broken piece of ceramic plate and is threatening me with it in some way. he breaks off another small sliver of the broken plate, making it more dull than it previously was. not sure why.

he kind of corners me back into my room, which happens to be on the same floor, and kisses me. i turn. apparently he has had this all plotted out and has this book with him. after he turns me, he pulls open the book. it’s like, a death book of sorts. before us were two other people — two males — who had died together. perhaps members of his family. now he filled in some empty spots within these red stamps with my name and his name. and then he proceeded to die / pass out…… fully expecting me to do the same right next to him. but as always, lenny passed out with the quickness, and i didn’t even feel close to wanting to die. i guess in this world being a zombie was a sickness, and the longer you were one, the more likely you were to just die.

so while he passes out i grab half of this giant human-sized donut that had been sitting in my room. no idea why. i guess it’s so old part of it had molded black and was flaking off. a thin shell of the glaze type stuff remained and i carried it to the living room, part with donut, but most of it was looking like a piece of snakeskin (flat). not sure what i intended to do with it. make the zombies sick with mold somehow???

when i get back in the living room, i drop the mold donut in shock. karen and tinwin are on the couch, looking like they are asleep. my nameless lover is on the couch next to them, also ‘asleep’. it’s fucked up. they’ve attached some kind of mechanical pump to him that looks like a bunch of koolaid type drink packets strung together. a girl is sitting on his lap, also asleep, and his fluids are being pumped to her for some reason. two “head zombies” are to the right, supervising. i’m not sure what they are doing, but i somehow have the idea that they are going to be using him to sell some kind of soft drink that really rich people can buy to keep themselves from being zombies. i guess zombies need money too…??? i feel completely helpless because i can’t do anything to help him. it’s completely disturbing. i think about touching him to hopefully turn him into a zombie, but am afraid of killing him since machines are attached to him. in retrospect, i think i should have put him out of his misery, but there surely must have been a selfish aspect to that too.

mike s:
i was on an island somewhere up north and hanging out near a bridge connecting to the main land. the bridge was lifting, so i stayed on the island and went to a nearby peet’s coffee. i had a complimentary drink card, so i used that to get a mocha. but the barista decided to let me keep the card and gave me the drink for free.

suddenly, i’m in a relationship with this girl. it’s like somebody was filming my life and removing entire chunks of the plot. we’re in this natural history museum, and the dinosaurs are actually alive. they’re behind some kind of sound proof, double paned plexi-glass. one of the dinosaurs is spitting venom against the glass.

the girl and i keep walking around, arm in arm. i’m thanking her for understanding my sense of humor (don’t have any idea what was actually making her laugh).

i went to visit her at the coffee shop and she’s giving another guy a free drink. i remember this guy looking pretty tall, but that’s all i can remember. so, in a rage, i went to some kind of abandoned naval ship that had been left on the beach. there were mirrors all inside of it and the reflection showed someone else entirely. i was apparently a very overweight individual with a receding hairline.

tammy:
anna is having a party at her place, and i’m there. thaison calls me and tells me he is at my house. i’m like, “what?!” so i don’t tell anyone because i’m sure it’s a surprise. it is funny because as i was leaving anna’s, i tell her i have to run errands and somehow his name slips out. not that anyone suspects he is in town, though.

i drive home to get him, and on my way, i call phil to tell him to meet me there. i can barely start my car, though; i have to try three times. so i eventually get him and we go back to the party. eventually, he tells me i never gave him a chance, and i am like, wth, liar, and we talk about that.

inspiration: i’ve been trying to get my friend thaison to come back to seattle for his birthday and he wouldn’t this past weekend.