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mike s

mike s:
i woke up in this bar with black walls and a concrete floor. the tables were circular, tall and had deep red surfaces. almost like a red wine color. at each table was a group of three people wearing veils. i kept running into old band mates, who were basically all arguing with each other. apparently i was at a show in a bar where some of my former band mates were playing. i kept asking them why they decided to play a 21+ show and they all tended to avoid answering the question.

all of the vacant tables had playing cards on them. they were all placed facing down right where someone would normally sit. i picked up a few to see if they were actually cards from a deck only to find out that on each card was a portrait of someone i know. old friends, ex-girlfriends, former co-workers, etc. it was all people who haven’t been in my life for a while.

towards the back of the bar was a “backstage” area sectioned off with a dark red curtain. i went inside to find a large gray beetle with a human head and penis receiving oral sex from two women.

mike s:
i was on an island somewhere up north and hanging out near a bridge connecting to the main land. the bridge was lifting, so i stayed on the island and went to a nearby peet’s coffee. i had a complimentary drink card, so i used that to get a mocha. but the barista decided to let me keep the card and gave me the drink for free.

suddenly, i’m in a relationship with this girl. it’s like somebody was filming my life and removing entire chunks of the plot. we’re in this natural history museum, and the dinosaurs are actually alive. they’re behind some kind of sound proof, double paned plexi-glass. one of the dinosaurs is spitting venom against the glass.

the girl and i keep walking around, arm in arm. i’m thanking her for understanding my sense of humor (don’t have any idea what was actually making her laugh).

i went to visit her at the coffee shop and she’s giving another guy a free drink. i remember this guy looking pretty tall, but that’s all i can remember. so, in a rage, i went to some kind of abandoned naval ship that had been left on the beach. there were mirrors all inside of it and the reflection showed someone else entirely. i was apparently a very overweight individual with a receding hairline.

mike s:
i’m at the practice space and two former band mates are there. i’m not sure why they’re even in the same room, as i was in two completely different bands with them and they’ve never met. they were talking about forming a band. when one of them would leave the room to use the bathroom or get food out of the vending machine, the other guy would ask me about the person who just left.

i got a knock on the door and there was this lady asking me if thousandswilldie would like to play with candiria. i was floored and said, “sure. but we’re such a different band. why are we playing with those guys?”
she didn’t answer and just started writing our name on the wall along side a huge collage of upcoming show flyers with her promotion company’s name on them. i’m guessing those were all the shows and this one was really far in advance, so she didn’t have a flyer yet.

gregg, my drummer, shows up with no beard. if you know gregg, you’d know that his beard goes down to the middle of his chest. nobody recognized him. he was also wearing a very large tie-dyed cypress hill shirt and kept saying something about yong-sung not coming to practice (we’re a three piece, so no guitar player at practice makes no sense).

the promoter lady comes back and says we need to be at a campsite ASAP so she can meet with all the local bands she’s promoting. there was some BBQ going on. we get there, and the campsite is right next to a suburban neighborhood. as we got closer, it looked as if the entire campsite was on a steep downhill grade. we kept trying to explain this to the promoter, who apparently lived in the neighborhood next to the site. i remember falling asleep in my car just before waking up for work.

mike s:
my band has decided to move in with another from san jose called in disgust. strange decision on everyone’s part because we don’t work anywhere near sj. so, we’re moving in and notice this creepy kid in a brown tank top who removed all of the laundry machines out of the designated room and installed several computers. the only program he’s running is this virtual porn video maker. the program allowed him to make any girl possible from a huge bank of traits (physical and personality). je kept making girls that i knew and naming them something else.

matt (guitar player of in disgust) was being kind of tense and i made a crack about how he looked like michael bolton from “office space”. he got frustrated and left. so, rich (his drummer) and i suddenly became good friends and were hosing kids down as they rode their bikes past the house. at this point, i don’t know where my band mates are. i asked around and found out that no liquor store in san jose sold blunt wraps (that made no sense), which sent gregg out of town in a huff. yong-sung was making friends with everyone in the neighborhood up the street (which was incredibly steep, like lombard street in SF).

mike s:
i’m back in college and somehow dating an ex-girlfriend that i haven’t seen since i broke up with her around this time last april. we’re together in her apartment and she’s somehow managing to rearrange her entire bathroom.

her bathroom is at the front of her apartment building, so where there might normally be a window, the bathroom has an entire wall of double paned glass with no curtains. she’s positioned the toilet exactly in the center of the tile floor and is upset with me because i’m refusing to use it. i’m becoming thoroughly annoyed because i didn’t understand why she wouldn’t let me go to the gym (out of fear girls might “hit on” me), yet she’s okay with undressing, bathing, and urinating in front of anyone who can see in.

amidst this argument, she decides that she hates gay people and wants to make an example of this guy jeremy, who plays in a band i’ve shared the stage with several times. i told her such bigotry didn’t make sense, but she insisted that jeremy is somehow part of society’s overall moral degradation. she’s giving me this evil glare.

so, my ex-girlfriend and this group of meathead rednecks are chasing jeremy around, who eventually drives off in his car. they were literally chasing him through people’s houses, back yards and jumping over fences. all the while, i’m trying to snap her out of it.

(note: my ex-girlfriend went out of town a couple months ago and is returning this week.)