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annoyance

vivian:
[#1]
Troy Two and I are discussing the need to travel somewhere. He buys me a really beautiful loaf of bread, it is green on the surface, like it has been rubbed with a pesto. It is from France, or something, or represents France. It is supposed to be a surprise, and he is preparing to give it to me, even though I already kind of know about its existence. We move from one table to another (I think). We are sitting at a table. Shawn comes in and begins talking to him. Troy is already eating a piece of bread, like a large piece, just holding it in his left hand and ripping off pieces. I soon look at the table and realize that the piece of bread he was supposed to give me is half-eaten, all of the crispier edges of it bitten off. What’s left is the inside hunk, and I say something along the lines of how, wasn’t that bread for me? And he looks embarrassed, maybe, and apologetic, but the next time I look at the table, he has eaten it all, and I think he may have apologized again, but I say something like, “It’s funny, because I mentioned it when you had only half eaten it, but you still ate it all anyway…” and I am laughing as I say this, but it seems like an offense at the same time.

Bread
To see bread in your dream represents the basic needs of life. Bread may signify the positive qualities and great things you have learned on your journey of life. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to rise above the situation or rise for the occasion. Bread has always been symbolic of life itself. In its highest aspect it is considered to be spiritual nourishment – manna. It can also represent the need to share spiritual knowledge. To be sharing bread in a dream represents our ability to share our experience with others so that they may learn.

Assessment of Interpretations
I don’t know; both of these dreams are extremely disturbing to me.

[#2]
I am in an apartment. Maybe the same one as before, but the vibe has changed. Bunch of us are in a room. Jeanette is there, Troy One is there, Tin-Win is there. I am sitting far away from them all, towards the door to the room, on the floor, and I am – I think – typing on the computer. At some point, Jeanette and Troy One are on a bed and Tin-Win is kneeling on the ground before them, both legs, and is asking Jeanette some questions. Jeanette mentions some accomplishment as I am headed to the bathroom (joined to the room) – I don’t even GO to the bathroom, I just walk into there and hang out – and Tin-Win questions a bit rudely how Jeanette got that role, and Jeanette gets offended. I guess Jeanette basically hung around somewhere for a long time until she finally got the job or recognition she wanted, and Tin-Win is frowning upon her for that. Troy One chimes in and says that he basically did the same thing at his job – editing for a magazine is what I gather – and that he just hung around and now he is the second-highest ranked or paid individual at his company. In my mind, I feel like even though that may be true, he probably still doesn’t get paid that much, and I don’t know if that is my own real-life bias and bitterness or if it is dream truth. Meanwhile, I have returned and am standing on the bed near the wall and am either writing on a laptop in standing position or I am writing on a piece of paper against the wall. I am not sure why I am in this position but it is very apparent that I am purposely standing rather than sitting. I do note at some point – not sure if this is before I go to the bathroom or after – that I am doing writing work on the computer but I think that Troy One is doing it by hand somehow. I feel like Jeanette is also on a computer or writing. Unsure.

Fast-forward, and we’re in a car. I’m sitting in the back right seat, behind Troy One. Someone – maybe Tin-Win though I think not – is sitting in the back left seat. Someone else – maybe Jeanette – is driving. Troy One has headphones on and is not paying attention. I have somehow gotten some really horrible song stuck in my head – like Coldplay or something – and I am singing its chorus over and over again, and a little bit embarrassed for doing so, but I do it anyway. I want so badly to talk to Troy One, have an overwhelming desires to put my arm around him and to rip off his headphones and talk to him. But I don’t, and we never speak to one another, in either dream.

Apartment
To dream about an apartment symbolizes a financial or situational state. To dream of a large, lavish apartment indicates an increase to your financial situation or an improvement to your family life. To dream of a shabby and dark apartment indicates misfortune and possible loss.

Standing
To dream that you are standing suggests that you are asserting yourself and making your thoughts and feelings known. Be proud. You need to make a “stand”. Alternatively, the dream means that you are detached from your surroundings.

Assessment of Interpretations
I don’t know; both of these dreams are extremely disturbing to me.

i am upstairs in an attic or something. it’s someone else’s house, i think sherry’s. tin-win is sitting on the bed next to me, sherry in one corner to my right, near the door, someone else to my back left (female) on a chair, someone else to the far back left in the corner (male) on a chair. i feel like there is a shower in the top right corner of the room. it is a square room. a dresser sits to the top left.

there are three distinctive bags of candy strewn about on sherry’s bed, and i ask her if we can eat from one of them. two of the bags seem to be kit-kat varieties initially, though i’ve never seen them before. i make tin-win and sherry choose which bag to eat from; tin-win chooses the kit-kats that look like they’re in a normal wrapper, and sherry chooses some that are in a white wrapper. i’m not sure what the reasoning is — there is some kind of arbitrary reasoning — but i choose sherry’s. i throw one to her and she breaks off one strip of the four, then throws it to tin-win, who comments on how it is smart that she broke off one piece of the four. she throws it to me, and i pass it along to the people behind me. i don’t actually recall eating it myself, and if in fact ther were four pieces and everyone else took a piece, i dunno how i would have eaten the piece.

so initially, we’re throwing around the entire bag, i believe, but by the time the wrapper gets in my hands, it is just a solitary wrapper. i feel like it is turkish, and i think i may even say that, but when i look at it, it actually has chinese writing. it’s not actually a kit-kat, either.

fast-forward a bit, and this might even be an entirely different dream. i am in a living room, and i think it is my house. it has dark walls. it is elegantly furnished, victorian-esque, i believe. i think it’s just me, maybe. troy (my boyfriend) is somewhere else but i recall being in touch with him over the telephone or something, though we don’t have a direct conversation. at some point, troy one emerges, and he is sitting at the dining room table, made of dark wood. it seems he has a letter i had written him — perhaps THE letter i had written him — and is commenting on it like it was no big deal, like we were still friends, like it was fine. he was asking me about a book i had bought him, and i told him that i didn’t have it anymore because i had lent it to someone in seattle and he had never returned it (that was the truth, in real life). he then asked me if i still wanted to do _______ if i wasn’t going to ethiopia, and i thought in my head that i wasn’t going to ethiopia, but i might be going to portugal, and anyway, i didn’t want to do that…

at some point i am standing fairly far away from him in the room, and he comes up to me and hugs me. i hug him back, and it feels really, really good to be hugging him like that. but then he turns my face towards him, and i really don’t want to look at him because i feel i know what will happen, and what i feel will happen does happen — he starts to kiss me, a lot, on the lips. small pecks. i tell him that i can’t. i think i say i have a boyfriend. i even start tearing up and one rolls down my face. he stops.

fast-forward. we’re in the kitchen. troy is standing to my front right, lenny to my front left. the refrigerator is directly in front of me. lenny meets him and is like, “oh! you’re troy!” as if he knew, though in real life he probably wouldn’t recognize the name and reference. he jokes with troy, “i just started dating her,” and he says oh, and then lenny laughs and is like, “just kidding!” and i don’t know if he says he is my ex-boyfriend or not. i think he does.

fast-forward, and i think lenny turns into my brother phil, or phil just appears and lenny disappears. in either case, phil is weirded out that troy is there and asks if we want to go take a walk around the neighborhood. then asks if we want to go eat sushi. i’m not actually sure that i want to take a walk around the neighborhood, but i agree to. we get outside and it looks like we’re in england, really way back when, with all cobblestone streets, lots of grey, tall buildings. it seems like victorian-era england, though we’re dressed just normally.

we’re walking, and then we come across some broken down cars or something. also grey. old-school. i dunno why but we’re there FOREVER and my brother is trying to help fix them or something, though it’s not like he knows anything about cars and he physically is doing nothing. it’s like he’s just standing around looking at them, but that he feels like he needs to. the back tire, at least in the one troy is standing in front of, is busted and looks like it’s falling apart. there is no driver. my brother is standing near the other car.

meanwhile, i am getting impatient. troy is standing near the second of the cars, doing nothing in particular, and i go talk to my brother, who is standing by the first car, about how i want to leave to go eat sushi and also ask him if i should ask troy just what the fuck happened to him all these months. my brother says that i shouldn’t, but i contradict him and argue that i think i should. i want to leave so i can question him about just what the fuck. i think i wake up.

Attic
To see an attic in your dream represents hidden memories or repressed thoughts that are being revealed. It also symbolizes your mind, spirituality, and your connection to the higher Self. Alternatively, it signifies difficulties in your life that may hinder you from attaining your goals and aspirations. However, after a long period of struggle, you will overcome these difficulties. To see a cluttered attic in your dream is a sign to organize your mind and thoughts. Perhaps, you need to rid yourself of the past and let go of the past emotions that are holding you back.

Bedroom
To dream that you are in the bedroom signifies aspects of yourself that you keep private. It is also indicative of your sexual nature and intimate relations.

Drawers
To see drawers in your dream signify your inner and hidden state and being. In particular, a disorderly drawer represents internal chaos and turmoil while an orderly drawer signifies calmness. Alternatively, a drawer symbolizes your reserves. There is something that you have stored away, but are now ready to use or express. If the drawer is full, then it symbolizes your many resources. If the drawer is empty, then it denotes your need to fulfill your goals.

Candy
To see or eat candy in your dream symbolizes the joys and the special treats in life. It also represents indulgence, sensuality and/or forbidden pleasure. You may be devoting too much time to unimportant issues. To dream of eating crisp, new candy, implies social pleasures and much love-making among the young and old.

Share
To dream that you are sharing something symbolizes your generosity toward others. Perhaps you need to be more generous with your feelings.

Table
To see a table in your dream represents social unity and family connections. If the table is broken, wobbly or not functional, then it suggests some dissension in a group. It may also refer to a sense of insecurity. Perhaps there is something you cannot hold inside any longer and need to bring it out in the open.

Memory
To dream about a memory suggests that you are ready to rid yourself of your old ways and undergo a transformation. You are ready for a new outlook in life. Recalling a memory in your dream may also be less of a shock then if you had recalled the memory in your waken state. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you have learned from your past experiences.

Hugging
To dream that you are hugging someone symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate.

Kissing
If someone tries to kiss you against your will, then it means that someone is shoving their ideas, beliefs and opinions in your face. He or she is forcing you to do something that you do not really want to do. This dream may also mean that you are refusing to accept some repressed aspect of yourself. If you are kissed by a stranger, then your dream is one of self-discovery. You need to get more acquainted with some aspect of yourself.

Tears
To dream that you are in tears signify that you are undergoing a period of healing in your life. The tears symbolize compassion, emotional healing and spiritual cleansing. Alternatively, tears indicate pain.

Kitchen
To see a kitchen in your dream signifies your need for warmth, spiritual nourishment and healing. It may also be symbolic of the nurturing mother or the way that you are for your loved ones. Alternatively the kitchen represents a transformation. Something new or life altering is about to occur. The dream could also be telling you that if “you can’t stand the heat, then you need to get out of the kitchen”. You need to abort your plans. In a woman’s dreams a kitchen symbolizes how she nurtures others.

City
Dreaming of a city, particularly one known to us, is to be trying to understand our sense of community; of belonging to groups. If you dream of a big city, then it suggests that you need to develop closer ties and relationships. You are feeling alienated and alone. To dream that you are in a deserted city indicates that you feel rejected by those around you. To dream of a city in ruins denotes that you are neglecting your social relationships and allowing them to deteriorate.

Victorian
To dream that you are in the Victorian period indicates that you are feeling sexually repressed. You feel you are unable to full express yourself.

Gray
Gray indicates fear, fright, depression, ill health, ambivalence and confusion. You may feel emotionally distant isolated, or detached. Alternatively, the color gray symbolizes your individualism.

Car
In modern times most people will dream about the car or other similar forms of transport. Dreaming of a carriage, such as a horse-drawn one, could be suggestive of old-fashioned attitudes to modern thinking. All vehicles reflect the physical body, so anything wrong with the vehicle may alert us to a problem. A car in particular is a reflection of a person’s self-image and possibly sexuality and indeed any part of a car has significance. The back tires might suggest our support system, the steering wheel the way we control our lives and so on.

Tires
To see tires in your dream suggest that you are dwelling too much in the past and need to move on toward the future. It also refers to your emotional health and your ability to bounce back from adversity. You are able to carry yourself from one situation to another with confidence. To see or dream that you have a flat tire indicates that you are feeling emotionally drained and weary. Your goals are temporarily hindered and as a result, you are unable to progress any further. To dream that your tires have no more tread suggests that are unable to get any traction toward achieving your goals. Decay in dreams is evidence of the natural cycle of life:growth, decline and regeneration. Out of decay comes new growth and knowledge.

assessment of interpretations:
not sure, but there are certainly recurring themes of:
[1] letting go of the past;
[2] sexual confusion and frustration.
i will say that all of these things have been on my mind and were also discussed last night right before going to bed. the victorian-era thing seems natural to associate with troy one as well, so i wonder if, in general, he just represents the entirety of the victorian era (inability to express oneself sexually) as a whole, or if it is him in particular… because i can’t figure out why he would appear in my dream after so long…

vivian:
this is only the middle part of the dream, but the most vivid. i’m eating from this tupperware container full of something. it’s delicious, and as i’m eating it, i notice all these small bugs in it. there’s all kinds… they might not actually exist in real life, even. there’s these little flying fly-like creatures, and a red thing that kind of looks like a cross between a worm and a silverfish. i’m freaking out once i notice this and run out of the room and find a hairdryer. it’s this weird hairdryer that probably also doesn’t exist in real life, and i’m searching for functions on it, but every function i want (such as turning it on) is associated with a button labeled with a 5. the other thing i’m looking for, which is a sucking in feature (like a vacuum), is also associated with number 5. it took me a bit of time to find the sucking in feature, and i even asked the dude who was with me (i forget who it was) and kind of got frustrated when he didn’t know, as if it were some kind of extremely weird thing for a hairdryer to NOT have a vacuum function! anyway, i go back into the room to vacuum the things up, and stuff kinda goes into the hairdryer, but not really. particularly not the red silverfish-like ones. person with me helps get rid of some of them, but i notice they’re going all up in these blankets, and on some nearby table, too. i also know that brian [m] was around somewhere in the dream — i’m not sure in what capacity.

interpretation for “insects”:
“Insects in a dream always represent obstacles that you must overcome to reach your goals, if you manage to exterminate them or they are not bothersome to you then you will meet your obstacles with strength, and be able to overcome them. Insects also represent excessive worry over certain things, meditate to find out what they might mean to you by using all the symbols in your dream for reference.”

interpretation for “eating”:
“Dreaming of eating may denote that we lack some basic nutrient or feedback in our lives. To not eat or refuse food indicates an avoidance of growth and change. We may be attempting to isolate ourselves from others or be in conflict with ourselves over our body image.”

assessment of meaning:
i was super annoyed yesterday and went to bed at 10:30pm (early) extremely frustrated with all the little tasks i need to take care of. definitely not inaccurate in that regard.

vivian:
i was supposed to leave at 4:30pm to meet some people somewhere in the woods. but before we leave, xinlei says she needs to go to the mall to buy something, so i go with her and am being fairly patient — at least outwardly — while she’s buying stuff and stopping at all sorts of things. i mean, she like, tries on lotion right before we’re leaving and takes a while to do it, even. i don’t even think she ends up buying anything, but by the time we leave, it’s three hours later. i check my phone and realize i have missed phone calls from james and brian, and then my phone rings again and it’s aaron asking where we are. chat with him briefly. forget what the convo’s like.

interpretation of waiting:
“Spiritual Meaning:
In developing spiritually we must often learn to wait until the time is right for a particular event. We have to wait for the passage of time and develop patience in the interim.

Psychological / Emotional Perspective:
When we become aware that something is expected from us, and other people are waiting for appropriate action, we may need to consider our own leadership qualities in waking life. When we dream of waiting lists such as that for operations we become aware that we must wait our turn, though not necessarily over a health issue. We perhaps feel that we are not sufficiently important.

Everyday Material Aspects:
To be waiting for somebody, or something, in a dream implies a need to understand the relevance of anticipation. We may be looking to other people, or outside circumstances, to help us move forward or make decisions. If we are impatient, it may be that our expectations are too high. If we are waiting patiently, there is the understanding that events will happen in their own good time.”

interpretation of telephones:
“Spiritual Meaning:
Because communication via the telephone usually means that we are not able to see the recipient, using the telephone in a dream can signify communication with Spirit or with Guardian Angels.

Psychological / Emotional Perspective:
When we are aware of the telephone number we are ringing, it may be the numbers that are important. We also may be aware of the need to contact a specific person who we can help, or who can help us. If we are searching for a telephone number we are having difficulty in co-ordinating our thoughts about our future actions. Using the telephone suggests a direct one-to-one relationship. The type of phone will also have relevance; an old-fashioned one suggests ancient ideas or concepts. A modern up-to-date digital or mobile phone indicates we are easily able to make ourselves understood in various situations.

Everyday Material Aspects:
Using a telephone in a dream suggests the ability to make contact with other people and to impart information we feel they may need. This could actually be communicating with someone in our ordinary everyday lives, or establishing contact with a part of ourselves. Being contacted by telephone in dreams suggests there is information available to us at some level of awareness that we do not yet consciously know.”

assessment of interpretation:
man, lol. spotty communication and waiting for humans? it’s like too obvious to even explain.

tammy:
my family is in my room hanging out and my brother brings incense in and starts to light it. then my dad starts lighting some. i’m like, “what are you doing?” and they say it smells. i start screaming stop it and they won’t. i say it’s dangerous, so i throw paper and attempt to start a fire. they eventually line my room with incense and i’m pissed. they also start cleaning my room. i tell them that for e very incense they light, i wouldn’t go to school for one hour. they cover my room completely. i leave my room hella pissed and skip class, even though the quarter has just begun.

my dad gives me a speech about how different people are, and i say what the fuck. i yell at him for going to muckleshoot casino. a distant family member is coming over and i want to embarrass them because i am so pissed. i remember the last time the girl was here. she was so cute. i think about class and also that if i call my chiropractor, he can write me a note so i can miss it.

i go back to my clean room and the incense has burnt out. there is now a ladder in my room. i’m trying to lock my door; it now has two locks on it. i am about to change when my brother and dad hug me. i think they think that they got to me and i liked the room… but screw that.

there’s a rave at a high school, and some announcement saying that there will be no bag checking because it’s a rave and not a ________??!?!?! there are a large amount of dressed up raver kids and two tiers of ticketing, apparently.

we go to a foldout tent under a white canopy to purchase the second tier of our tickets. they are supposed to be physical tickets that cost $10. the whole ticket is supposed to be $15, because apparently we have $5 wristbands on, although i don’t actually remember purchasing the wristbands.

the girls manning the canopy are being shady as fuck, and they’re trying to rip people off. i know for a fact, i guess, that the tickets are supposed to cost no more than $15. they’re trying to charge us fluctuating amounts over $15, the last one being $16. it was only $1 more but i still refused because i knew that it was wrong.

they are taking forever to give us the correct price so i turn around to the guy and girl behind us and say sorry. the girl looks like ashley story.

some lady, sitting on a chair, mumbles in the background that the total will be $180 for the two of us. i respond by saying, “$180 is for like, a million tickets.”

the people behind us snicker and the shady ticketers finally offer us $15 for each of our tickets. the workers are now telling each other that, “now you have to make your own tips,” because apparently they were taking the extra money and pocketing it before. the people behind us are excited and say that yay, they now have an extra $2.60 to spend or whatever.

so, i guess i had put my stuff in a locker or something and now they’re giving it to me. there’s a black jacket, which i grab first. then my camera bag is on the table, and luckily i saw it, and as i pick it up, the blue helly hansen jacket i have is also attached to it (i always tie my jackets onto my bags). but then i decide that other than the camera bag, i don’t want to carry this shit around. so i need to put it back in a locker.

rachel goes inside to find a locker or something.

inside, my bags disappear and i walk up (or down) a set of these cooly textured stairs that look like they have wallpaper texture on them. i read some poem… maybe i find it on the ground… written by rachel, and it is pretty cool but sounds a lot like a poem i think i’d write, but a lot darker. i don’t remember much other than that there is a line talking about popes and sexual misconduct in a sarcastic way, and it ends with “, pope.”

jeanette:
i asked for exciting, and i got way more than i asked for! here it goes: from what i remember, the beginning of my dream places me in a car driving down the freeway. it didn’t look familiar but i knew i was driving to torrance (where my best friend lives in real life). that places me on the 405 freeway. as i’m driving among many many MANY cars (but, oddly – there isn’t traffic) there are flames bursting out from the side. building and parking structures are on fire, wild flames everywhere spilling onto the freeway. i can see in the distance up ahead that as cars pass the flames, some are blowing up. i’m nervous but not as nervous as i would be in real life! i keep driving amongst all the cars…now that i think about it, there were SO MANY CARS on the freeway but we were all going at a decent pace. (it’s LA…this NEVER happens, even when there are a medium amount of cars on the road there is traffic!) anyways!

next scene jumps to me on the street. i guess i parked my car and ?? there were a handful of people on foot around me (no cars) and i ask “how do i get to torrance?” and this asian lady says she will help me. next scene is the lady and i walking at a high school (junior high?) school building and up and down a few stairs. then a corridor opens and another asian lady speaks to her in mandarin. i acknowledge that i speak mandarin as well. all of a sudden, i realize that they are part of church group. then we end up in the parking lot, next to the school’s field (tennis courts, football field, etc.) and the lady offers me clean slippers to get in her car with. i tell her my flip flops aren’t that dirty and that i’ll just take them off and hold them in the car. end of this scene.

i end up on the sidewalk of some street with lots of cafes and restaurants. the ex (who i shall name TE) keeps calling me, asking me where i am and what time i will be home. this is all really strange because, who cares where i am and when i’ll be home…#1 we’re not together #2 you live far away in a different country so what is it to you. all of a sudden, i recognize a group of people (i actually don’t know who they are now) and i realize they are friends of TE. then i piece it together — he must be here. (i’m pretty sure this was all taking place in LA, even though none of the locations are familiar) then it cuts to a scene where i’m talking to TE and giving him a piece of my mind. actually… telling him all these things i have been thinking for the past few weeks in real life. just dishing it all out and calling him out on a few things. words are exchanged and for personal reasons i’m just going to cut to: i tell him that let’s hug, because this is the last time i am going to see you because i never want to see or talk to you again. we never hug.

i wake up.

inspiration: i hate that TE is in the majority of my dreams since the break-up.

future: on my way to work this morning there was traffic, but i didn’t think anything because heck, i live in LA there is always traffic. all of a sudden, in the distance, i see crazy thick grey smoke, hurling intensely into the air, above the freeway overpass. i’m thinking, holy shit… holy shit!!! and sure enough, there are about 7 firemen and a handful of policemen around a 2-car crash, the people from the accident aren’t in sight (evacuated?), and crazy thick grey smoke coming out of an older 2-door BMW. it had clearly been on fire from a collision and the fire had been put out and it was just smoking like crazy. fire on freeway and cars blowing up in my dream – real car on fire on my way to work. gahhhh!!