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violent

alex:
i’ve been set loose in some sort of fantasy FPS match. i have my real body — or at least it feels real, anyways… not sure why i think it’s a game. perhaps because the “world” seems human-made even though it is made out of trees and stone. for example, there’s a cave; from far away it resembles a fairly ornate skull of some type. demon-ish. it had a feeling like an artist made it and that it wasn’t nature. in any case, i’m not really sure what the goal of the game is — presumably not to die. the skull is actually a negative depression into the earth, as if it had been molded downwards. its nose and mouth are dark; they were caves of some form. as numerous of the other people/whatevers in this world near me, i start to get worried that they are going to get me because i have a skull pit behind me and some trees in front of me. i can hear people moving through the brush, so i jump down into the skull and enter one of the various holes. at that, i hear the movement above me hasten — as someone runs to the edge to see if they can figure out where i went. so then, whoever is following jumps down, and he’s a kid, like 14. he has a weapon, unlike me; i don’t have anything. but he is stepping into the dark like a noob and my eyes have adjusted, so i just grab his weapon hand and toss him on the ground. he messes with some sort of torch, so i let him continue, and now the place is lit. then i proceed to rob him. he’s loaded! he has all this money and random stuff h had meticulously hidden under his clothes. i’m trying to get him to explain the currency system to me, because all of the coins are crazy-looking and none of them are the same. they’re all like hand-made or something. and i have a LAPTOP; i don’t know why. i think it’s somehow usable, but i don’t know what the benefit is. well, i’m barely done robbing him and kind of considering keeping him along because he’s such a noob, but something else drops into the pit, and whatever it is, it’s SCARY. the kid and i are human, but this thing is some form of monster. but i get the feeling it’s a player, or human-controlled. in any case, we keep quiet, and it leaves. a while later, a different monster comes, but by now it had heard us, so just holding still in the dark will not suffice. it comes on in, and the kid’s loot is all laid out across the ground. as i try to sort through the stuff he has, the kid tosses me two baton-like things. he is like, “we’re cornered; you gotta kill it.” there’s another stick-like thing, and i toss it to him. so the creature comes in and the dream gets even weirder. the creature seems to be paraplegic, but it’s some sort of lizard/dragon-person with red skin and hair like numerous repitilian tails, with cheesy ass metal bands around the tails (some form of decoration). it’s got some form of jerkin on, but then the lower body is like… a hobo cart. and the dragon thingy has a laptop and a stick. so we beat it up or whatever, and rob it. we set off as partners with our new lootz to pwn some others and i wake up.

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jenny:
in this dream i wasn’t myself. i was a half demon/half man type creature.

while i don’t remember dreaming about this, in my dream i had just killed an 8 year old boy and was going to modify my appearance to look like him and enter his school. my fingerprints were all over the gun i had used, but as long as i could believably pretend to be the boy, no one would know he was dead and no one would find me.

i’m scaling a rocky mountain. i keep wedging my scaly hands into the crevices to pull myself up but keep falling. i continue trying until i find an easier route that allows me to almost walk up the mountain. at the top of the mountain i find a bag with clothes to disguise myself in, blue contacts (the boys eyes were blue) a wand and a really sharp mini-axe. i quickly transform myself as two other students walk around the corner. at the top of the mountain was a doorway into the school. i enter with them.

i’m careful to imitate the boy’s mannerisms. he had a deformity in his feet that made him limp, so i tried to limp. i am so nervous about being caught and at the same time feel extremely guilty about killing the boy, but continue on. i can’t let myself be discovered.

i meet up with another half-demon/half-man who was my accomplice in the murder. he pulls out his sharp axe and asks where mine is. i pull mine out and touch the end of the blade- it’s extremely sharp. he laughs and asks if i’m ready. as i’m about to answer, a school administrator enters the room and notices the weapon in my accomplices hand. i pretend to not know what’s going on and the administrator walks over to the accomplice, extremely angry. the administrator’s eyes turn black–not just the center of the eye, but the whole eye. as he stares into my accomplice’s eyes, my accomplice dies. i scurry off to class.

after class, i’m walking in the hall, still taking great care to ensure i’m limping. a teacher keeps watching me oddly and i feel like my cover is blown. i’m sure they know i’m not the boy.

she walks over to me and asks me a few personal questions. she’s joined by the school principal who says, “it’s odd that usually your left toe is pointing in, but now your right toe is.” i’m sure at this point they know i’m not the boy. the teacher has tears in her eyes and starts screaming at me, “what did you do with him? where is he?” i’m still desperately trying to pretend i’m this boy.

she turns her back to me and when she turns back around, her whole eyes are black and tears are still coming out. she says, “it hurts me to do this, but i know you’re not him.” she pushes me back onto the hallway floor and pins my arms next to me. she’s staring into my eyes, trying to kill me but the blue contacts i put in are reflecting back her ‘killing’ gaze. i start snickering and say, “it’s not going to work. you should have asked sam about this before you tried.”

i wake up. i don’t know who sam is and this whole dream is just f’ing weird.

alex:
i haven’t had a dream this crazy in years.

i had a really weird lucidish dream about being a survivor after a zombie infection destroyed everything. i’ve had dreams where you think ahead to what you’ll be doing later, and you just kinda teleport forward in time… but this dream involved teleporting weeks ahead at a time, spanning a couple months really. the dream became lucid whenever somethign scary happened, and was autopilot the rest of the time. theres tons more than i’ve written, but it had 3 main lucid phases, which i’ve written here.

my girl (i’ll just call her that) was visiting me at my house in greenlake when the united states experienced a zombie infection (28 days/dawn of the dead[2004] style). i’ve had a few zombie-apocalypse dreams before and they’re typically my most detailed dreams. so anyways, her and i are hiding in my house for awhile when we decide that we are gonna run out of food and everything else and we should quest out into the world. we run out to my car and there are no zombies around initially, but by the time we shut the doors and start the engine, shit is starting to go down.. the dream wasn’t really lucid yet, so i’m not sure what happened, but zombies came out of houses or out from behind whatever and we just shot off towards aurora/highway 99. there weren’t as many accidents as there realistically would’ve been.. but there were cars abandoned all over, kinda like seattle after a snow storm.

there was blood and stuff on windshields and signs of struggle, but overall, everything was pretty much barren/abandoned. it was sunny and there were fires to the south. i’m not really sure what the decision process that followed was, but we were going by a gas station and we thought the flat roof over the gas pumps was pretty much the only place that was safe. we stole a tent, an aluminum ladder, a pickup truck, a luxury car w/ a sun roof (ill skip this part of the dream), and next thing i knew, we were spending the night ontop of the awning over a shell gas station. the ground up there was gravel, i’m not sure if there’s gravel on these in real life. the environment up there consisted of a 24’x36′ rectangle (maybe bigger), one green tent and an aluminum ladder.. we left our cars parked down below by the pumps. from this point on, the dream was fully lucid.

the dream has numerous ensuing phases from here.

i. FORAGING / BUILDING / ESTABLISHING SYSTEMS FOR SURVIVAL

we started improving our lives as survivors. we raided a gun store on aurora. shotguns were my favorite, my girl had a carbine she had found behind the counter. we had filled a newly stolen car with ammo, and spent considerable time practicing. my girl was really good w/ her gun. zombies pretty much left us alone while we were home (if one saw us it chased us full sprint, but there simply weren’t many around), and we were ultra ultra cautious before we entered any abandoned stores. at one point my girl and i got into a little fight cause she wanted to go into the supermarket, but it wasn’t like any of the small stores we had been to. even at the gun shop, we could pretty much see to the back of the store from the street, so it felt safe to go in. the supermarket had so many aisles — what if zombies came from both ends of an aisle at the same time? i let her go and get fruit, cause in the produce section the shelves are only a few feet high and you can see all the way to the back of the store, so i could watch her with my gun and it was safe-ish. we evaluated numerous stores in this manner and and collected lots of things gradually. zombies would come out if we made noise, so if we ever dropped anything or made a loud sound we would just run back to the cars and leave.

just driving down the road is when we would see the most zombies. they would run out towards the car from wherever they were, and chase us down the street until they disappeared in the rear view mirror. i don’t really remember most of the details from this part of the dream, except that my girl and i developed an obsession with home depot for several reasons. the door by the loading area was HUGE, so visibility was great (and that was our primary fear entering any structure). you could also drive a truck straight into home depot. we took tons of stuff. we took these giant plastic sheds and basically made a house ontop of our shell gas station. we also had a really good system for bringing stuff back – cause driving around attracted too many zombies. we would steal two cars and i would let her go ahead of me, and she would go up ontop of the gas station with her rifle… and then when i showed up (always had some zombies running after me), i would just drive around the gas pumps while she took shots at them. this was our protocol if we had anything following us within 1 mile of our home.

she didn’t like the corpses lying around our house, so i had a way of cleaning up. i had this giant hook on a stick that i had taken from somewhere (a butchery? who knows) and i would drag the bodies away from our home while my girl watched me through her scope. everything we did basically followed this pattern: one person in a good spot with a gun would watch the other person do whatever it is that needed done. i remember a detail here: we had this plastic trough down at pavement-level which was full of tools, and it was full of bleach+water, and it was where we would put any tool that had touched a corpse. we had another collection of tools that we left up at roof level. i dont remember setting this stuff up, but its clear we had tons of preparation & thought put into most things, and very strict protocols about how to get between roof level and pavement level.

ii. STUPID SURVIVORS

the next phase of the dream concerned some survivors we encountered. this clearly occurred many weeks after the, dream started if tracking time in a dream is worth anything. we basically had a house ontop of the shell roof at this point, and a bridge going from the gas pump roof to the convenience shop roof. one day, we saw 3 women in their 20s waving to us from an apartment that overlooked aurora and our gas station. the apartment looked kinda like nordheim court, and i could see the front door of the apartment by looking into the living room window. they had furniture stacked infront of the door. they shouted to us from their window. i don’t remember what they said, but my girl and i concluded we should rescue them. this dream is already getting too long, so ill cut out to what happened. i went over there and killed 3 zombies in the apartment building using a shotgun. i broke out the girls’ window and we strung a rope from their apartment to the covenience store roof (15 ft lower) and they came to join us. it was quickly apparent that these girls were a liability and had barely survived until now. an unknown amount of time passed, and the dream became lucid again because someone was screaming. i ran out of my shed with a shotgun in hand to see two of the girls screaming and looking over the edge of the convenience store. one was screaming at the other girl to “help her” (presumably the 3rd girl was on pavement level where i couldn’t see her). the girls pushed one of our ramp/ladder inventions off the edge. my girlfriend and i looked at each other, exchanging angry looks. i already had my gun and my girlfriend went to get hers. not too surprisingly, zombies ran up our ramp/ladder contraption (one of the zombies was the 3rd girl). one of the two surviving girls died right then. the last girl ran towards across the bridge between the two roofs. my girlfriend shot her in the head. she wasn’t going to make it to us, and even if she was, i didn’t care; i would’ve killed her myself.

we were gonna close our makeshift front door before she’d make it to us, and anyways, fuck her. i was actually scared in this part of the dream, and it had a nightmare flavor to it. this can be contrasted to the previous ‘vibe’ in the dream, where it was more about my girlfriend and i overcoming everything. my girl and i were backed up in our shed with our guns aimed at our front door as zombies tore through. we shot them systematically, killing somewhere around 10 in total. i went over to the door, stepping around the pile of corpses, studying it for movement. i looked up at my girl and she was loading her gun. my fear paired with the overall lucidity told me i was about to be punished. it was one of those dream things where you try not to think something cause you’re scared that thinking about it will manifest it. another zombie came inside over the pile (he had lagged behind, i guess) and almost got to me. my girl was screaming, and i blew its head off, effectively repainting our “kitchen.” we didnt want to touch anything nor walk over the pile of corpses to get out the main door – there was blood everywhere. i cut a hole in the side of our multi-shed house and we ducked out through it. we concluded that survivors were as likely to kill us as zombies. i remember having a discussion with her that if we found any more survivors this late in time, that they were probably crazy. she said she didn’t want to find a male survivor cause he would probably want to rape her and would try to kill me. we decided to move somewhere very very remote, no people, no zombies. both of us were really angry, i think i woke up briefly.

iii. ABANDON EVERYTHING — NEW BEGINNINGS?

the last phase of the dream doesnt really hold up to the same standard of detail as the things before it did. next thing i knew, we were driving through the desert… the earth was orange. we had been looking for houses with nothing around them. we found a two story house surrounded by very flat land and no plants. we must’ve been in southern utah or arizona or something. we boarded up the windows on the first floor and made the second floor our home. it had a deck with good visibility. there was nothing out here at all. we didn’t really do anything. we made one trip in to a nearby city to pickup canned food and gas for our generators, and i wanted solar panels but i couldn’t find any. we did find a letter written on cardboard in sharpie, explaining how to contact some guy on radio frequencies. this cardbaord sign was sitting infront of a supermarket and had a box FULL of radios infront of it. i took one of them and set it up at our house (despite our previous plan to avoid people). i was talking to 3 survivors on this radio thing when i woke up.

THINGS I SKIPPED:
– really long time spent shooting/practicing
– obsessive construction of ladders/ramps
– basically coming back with a different car every time
– falling in love w/ a car that had a sunroof (openable by remote) that you could get into while the doors were closed
– destroying the barrier in the middle of aurora
– hoarding tools, honda generators, and ice(?)
– transition from fear to matter of fact killing of scattered zombies (did some drive bys for amusement)
– removal of “cover” from roof line of sight
– discussion regarding if other nations were gonna bomb US population centers

LATTER PHASES:
– putting motion lights around the desert house
– telling a survivor to fuck off, but giving him 2 gallons of water

jenny:
i don’t remember the whole thing right now, but the most vivid part that i remember:

a young, blond hollywood-type actress murdered 5-6 people in her house, which looked like a tree house mixed with a condo. i knew she did it and others knew as well, but we all didn’t talk about. to get the bodies out of her house, she cut them up into large pieces and strung the pieces on ropes and lowered them to the ground where other people loaded the bodies into bags.

i remember seeing a leg of someone — bloody pants and shoe still on — being lowered down on a thick piece of rope.

then she cleaned her place and i think had a party. i remember feeling anxious because of what i knew she did.

abe:
i had to shoot one of my buddies because he went nuts and took hostages. it was real life friend who also became a cop, though it didn’t look like him. but in the dream i knew it was him. he took a bunch of kids hostage in a bus and threatened them with grenades. but kids were running off. i remember this one little girl was running off, but this fat kid was holding onto her yelling for her not to leave him. which is weird, because not too long ago i went on a call of a robbery of a little asian kid being jumped and during his getting beaten up, he was yelling and reaching out for one of his friends who was standing there — a girl.

so anyway, i run up and i’m trying to pull the girl away. then my friend runs up to that end of the bus, and he has the grenade in his hand. he pulls the pin. so i drew my off-duty gun and shot him three times in the head/face area. then i drug him out of the bus with the grenade still in his hand, and i run as far away as possible. but then somehow, he wasn’t dead. he tried to grab at my gun so i shot him three more times and kicked him off me. the grenade never went off.

then the 2nd part was how he got to that point. it was like a flashback. i guess he was having a lot of professional trouble in his department and was getting into it with his superiors a lot. so for whatever reason, they hold a public hearing in san jose, in a big arena type place.. where he was grilled by some council. and he couldn’t really provide answers and seemed really dejected. so the crowd is in the background, yelling for his resignation, and the council voted to do so. and i saw his mom running wildly in shock. he was just hanging his head the whole time, and his attorney runs over and holds up a sign saying, “you guys just let him down,” or somethign to that effect.

inspiration: stressful situation at work. let’s just say, i came the closest i’ve ever been to shooting someone.

vivian:
i’m playing a game like “contra”, only i’m the main character IN the game initially. i see myself, from the top down. a square block/wall is in front of me. to the left, the square block is nearly touching the wall, but some guys are sandwiched between the wall and the block, almost as if they are glitched or something, because they are not attacking me. i decide to shoot them real quick anyway. the gun i am using is like the machinegun from contra, shooting out these large red orbs… only the orbs are orange, not red, in the dream. then i walk to the right side, where my brother is surrounded by a group of really tall enemies. this is now in first-person view. some stuff happens. i forget.

then i see daniel li (of daniel and sharon) and he is talking about how he is trying to sell back a videogame. he was going to claim to the store that the videogame was brand new, even though he had already played it for twenty hours.

then i was in a room with an arcade. something was not working out to my liking. this portion is extremely hard to explain………….. again, this was in third-person, with a top-down view. basically, i was miniature, and i had to get to this one arcade machine to insert a square package into it. but these little yellow enemies kept trying to block me, so i had to hold up a shield or something, to block them, so that i could get from point a to point b (the arcade machine). i don’t know. extremely hard to explain. :0 :0 :0

alex:
i had some crazy shit last night with pirates, but i barely remember. there was an entire building in a pirate ship tho, like a resident skyscraper. i think maybe we were caught in the end of the battle. we were sitting in a cement stairwell which had an exit door at the bottom, which went to the building. but as the stairs came up to the surface, it was the wooden deck of the ship. physics need not apply. the pirates were crazy, though. there weren’t many — maybe 3. i killed all of them. we were just enjoying the air on the roof when the first pirate peeked on in and the troubles began. either that, or someone went out and screamed. i don’t remember. either way, i saw them from down there, a that was when i dealt with the pirate. he was weak. it was like fighting a twelve year old. did have weapons, though. as he was chasing something, i decked him, dragged him towards the edge, and kicked him off. then i went back to the stairwell, as if not much had happened.

some girl and i were just leaning on each other, looking up at the sky, but then the next guy was going to throw his sword down at us, and i was like fuck, cause there wasn’t really anywhere to go. but i jumped up and out, and he missed. the first guy had dropped a gun, so i picked it up, but the gun could only shoot once. it was like.. the kind you have to load yourself, and i guess he had it ready already, but i didn’t know how to load it. plus all the stuffz was probably on him and he was drowning right about now. i think if you tipped the gun forward, the bullet would’ve fallen out… is that how guns really were? i wonder. the second guy was not a pirate. he looked like he was in some legit colonial-age military. he wasn’t a pirate, but he was still going to kill. actually, the ball did fall out. i remember. and i grabbed it and mashed it back in there and shot the dude. he was all staggering and shit, and i threw his sword back at him, which sunk into his shoulder. and i don’t remember the rest. cause i didn’t throw him off, i don’t think, but did i really leave a corpse up there? i don’t know.

there was a whole dream… before i went upstairs in this building to discover the pirate oddness. there was something about losing some object repeatedly and being frustrated. i cant really remember, though.

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