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third-person

vivian:
some girl is trying to get revenge on my brother. not sure why. we spend the entire dream kind of trying to escape her. or maybe it’s not revenge; maybe she is trying to stop him in his tracks so he won’t do something. don’t remember. all i remember is the last part of the dream although the dream itself was massively long. we were trying to escape her and were in a pool (?), and i guess everything she did was futile (by the way, i think “she” was freaking jennifer aniston), and we’d basically come to the conclusion that she wouldn’t actually be able to stop him. but finally, she says she has a secret weapon, and her secret weapon is this giant green laser. the pool we’re at is like, surrounded by people, and when she pulls it out, everyone kind of gasps. green lasers are kind of weird in real life because some of them have been designed to be so strong that they can make people go blind or they can shoot into the sky for what seems like infinitey. anyway. this particular green laser was bigger than those laser pointers and yet another degree removed, because it could cut people in half, apparently. so. she pulls this green laser weapon out, and we’re like, “oh shit!” and dive towards the bottom of the swimming pool and try to stay there because the lasers are refracted by the water. as i was down there, it seemed like someone — i think my mom, although she was like a white lady, i think — had her voice in my head. it was like she was talking to me psychically, but the things she was saying sounded like thoughts coming straight from her head as opposed to things she was saying to me personally. weird. anyway, the voice was like, hoping i would stay down there because who knows where jennifer aniston would shine the laser and she didn’t want me to be hit by it and cut in half!

anyway, the dream ends there kind of, but then part two shows up. part two is like… the beginning of a new movie, whereas the end of the laser thing (although it doesn’t reach a real conclusion it seems) is the end of the first movie. in the new movie, i’m watching third-person ish, like i’m watching a movie. andy chen and someone else are in a kitchen, and they’re washing dishes. my feet touch the floor of the kitchen and it’s like mud; i’m not really there, i don’t think, because they don’t notice me. they’re talking and saying, “every time we move into a new place, it’s so dirty.” the end.

inspiration: walked by a club with green lasers (like you’d see at a rave) shooting out of its doorway, and i thought it was scary case those things are scary (some green lasers made people go blind at a rave in russia, ha).

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vivian:
aaron and i live in some fancy multi-storied house with a white spiral staircase. i think we’re roommates or something. at one point, i’m upstairs and i feel like i’m kind of going crazy. i start seeing all these kid ghosts everywhere, and i’m freaking out. they are relentless — showing up all the time, flying around… they’re so plentiful in number they’re practically overlapping with one another in my vision. i step out of this room where all this crazy shit is happening and go sit on the staircase, hoping it’ll subside there, but it’s like, more vivid than ever. i finally stumble downstairs. i’m looking for aaron’s room and as i’m looking for it, i realize i’ve never been there before, because the house is sooooo huge. there are hella rooms and i have no idea where i’m going. and actually, there are massive numbers of people living there; there are many more people than just aaron and i, but i don’t really know who they are at all. i vaguely think they’re related to him. i’m going in and out of these rooms, catching bits and pieces of their lives, and they see me a little and i them a little, but no words are exchanged. finally, i settle in on sitting in some bedroom. someone i know is there and talking to me. i don’t think i particularly want to talk to him, but i don’t really have a choice, it feels like. finally, aaron pops his head in for a second and i’m like really excited to see him so i can tell him about the ghosts, because i don’t have anyone else around that i can talk to about them (and i guess i don’t want to talk to this guy i’m talking to about them?), but aaron says that he has to go for just a second because his friend is in the hospital and he needs to see them… and i get a flash of what his friend looks like in the hospital, almost as if i’ve already visited him myself. the end.

inspiration: hung out with aaron the previous night and he was definitely running around a lot in and out of rooms, haha.

vivian:
i’m with nick from couchsurfing, and we go to a movie. jeanette is sitting next to me briefly and she asks if he’s the guy we met this other day at dinner, but evidently, that was peter, who is also from couchsurfing. at one point, nick said something about making dinner sometime even though he was leaving for colorado, and i put my hand on his cheek and kinda pulled his head towards mine so that the sides of our heads touched, and said, “aww.” eventually, he pulls his arm super awkwardly around my shoulder and it seems he is kind of trying to feel down my pants, which is awkward a little, given the setting. i looked over and he is naked on his bottom half. i don’t see anything because his shirt is long and covers things, but i know he’s wearing no pants.

we leave shortly after and pass by this apple grove area that becky and emme own. i switch to an out-of-my-body view and see them picking fruits. before leaving the theatre (way back when), jeanette left but nick said he’d go home with me for cooking purposes. in my mind, it seemed that we had already eaten, although we hadn’t in the dream. he said something about whether chris could hear my bed, and i wondered how he knew chris in the first place. we get there to my house and don’t really go inside for a while. my house is not my actual house; it’s a pretty tall, kind of old, tan-colored apartment building that is nearly as wide as it is tall (although i think it’s slightly taller).

outside, some people have dumped a FUCKLOAD of water on the street at the top of the hill, and it all floods down the streets and sends everyone down the asphalt hill, like a giant waterslide or something. one naked large fat lady in particular stands out. i join the crowd briefly by falling into the water, stomach-first, fully-clothed, but the water fails to move me, even though it’s moving people much larger than me. i go to nick, who is standing on the side of the road, and now he’s not a white dude, but a black dude. we go inside and it’s actually not my house, but a restaurant. i tell nick about the fat naked lady, saying that she had the body of pam, like that painted a perfect picture or something. he’s not black anymore, or white. he’s asian, and he has really long hair flowing down past his shoulders and suddenly, i find myself very unattracted to him.

inspiration: i talked to nick before sleeping… about replacing my camera and some uncertain things.

vivian:
escaping from zombies. i’m in a house, and some guys who look like cops are coming. there’s one really tall and buff guy, in particular. not really sure how i know what he looks like… think i see a movie-like third-person shot of him outside my house and somehow put together that he is this bad dude who is coming for me. i don’t know who i’m with, but it’s a boy. i crack open a window and kick out the mesh and leave from it. the boy hesitates because he wants to see some new dragonball z game. i shall not tolerate that ridiculousness and tell him he needs to come. he finally concedes.

we run through the streets — but perhaps i am now alone — and now zombies are frothing at the mouth and trying to beckon us (or me) to join them… they have kind of a goo trail from their mouths and the second you touch it, you turn into a zombie.

before i know it, i’m at this house. i guess my parents live there? it’s this really nice house up on top of a GIANT hill. like giant. like a mountain. when i first get there, there are no zombies. soon, my mom sees them approaching down below on our giant garden / lawn. she tells this to my dad and he is less angry about the idea than he is about the idea of zombies trampling his garden. (both of my parents are white.)

inside the main entry way of our house are all kinds of pots… of the gardening variety. they are empty. they are arranged in some fancypants way. soon, zombies appear at our door. i decide to use some of the giant gardening porcelain pots to attack the zombies with. on the walkway in front of our house, there is basically a giant cliff. the stairway up runs along to the right side, but immediately in front of the door is just a space for standing, and behind that is a long ways down to the ground below.

zombies come solo for a while — a lot of girls, i think — and i use the giant pot to push them off the cliff to down below. some fall in a pool. some splatter to their death. they certainly all die. i hear some zombie mentioning that ## of zombies are dead out of ## who have been converted, and the number that was dead was sooooo small compared to the number that had been converted.

the zombies keep coming, some in pairs, and i keep pushing them off. it seems my parents have disappeared. i’m running out of pots, because i would sometimes throw the pots off with the zombies.

but soon comes this guy that doesn’t look like a zombie. it’s extremely surprising. he is this extremely good-looking dirty blonde guy wearing a white shirt and grey jeans. i pretty much forget all about the danger, and my first words to him are something like, “if i can be a zombie with you for eternity, i’ll do it.” i reckon he is amused by this sentiment, and comes in. the zombies have gone away for the evening. he tells me he’s a ‘turner’ and somehow i know exactly what that means — he can turn zombies back into humans.

this is a thought that fascinates me. so he tries it on me. we kiss. he turns when i turn. i guess he has zombie in him, but it’s dormant. the process is slightly painful and i feel a little “green” and like i have boils on my body. it’s a little dizzying. but that’s about it.

my new lover takes the time to try and turn some mega harmless girl zombie who is in the corner of the house, not attacking anyone. he puts his hand on her leg and it is quite obviously painful to transform from a zombie to a human. he turns human as he’s doing this, but it’s difficult for him to heal her because she’s being a pussy and can’t handle the pain. she brushes him off and shakes her head at him. she’s content being a zombie.

more kissing turns me back from a zombie into a human. he doesn’t turn from a human back into a zombie. it also doesn’t really hurt — perhaps because it hurts more the longer you’ve been a zombie and i’d only been one for a very brief time.

we spend the night cuddled up on the couch with two other people there — presumably tinwin and karen — and zombies don’t come in the night for some reason. i am amazingly content.

come morning, zombies stir me awake. so up until now, when i had been attacking zombies at my door with pots, i would open the door to greet them — to surprise them — and push them off the cliff before they ever got to the point of knocking on the door or breaking it. this morning, i see two zombies outside my door and open the door to do what i had done before. (there is like, one large brown porcelain pot left in the house, not including the one i have in my hand.) to my surprise, there are more than two zombies in front of my door. the other ones are being sneaky, and have wrapped themselves around the side of the house, near the stairs. oh shit. they’re forcing their way in, and force me in by pushing the pot.

and then i sees it. zombie lenny. zombie lenny is holding a broken piece of ceramic plate and is threatening me with it in some way. he breaks off another small sliver of the broken plate, making it more dull than it previously was. not sure why.

he kind of corners me back into my room, which happens to be on the same floor, and kisses me. i turn. apparently he has had this all plotted out and has this book with him. after he turns me, he pulls open the book. it’s like, a death book of sorts. before us were two other people — two males — who had died together. perhaps members of his family. now he filled in some empty spots within these red stamps with my name and his name. and then he proceeded to die / pass out…… fully expecting me to do the same right next to him. but as always, lenny passed out with the quickness, and i didn’t even feel close to wanting to die. i guess in this world being a zombie was a sickness, and the longer you were one, the more likely you were to just die.

so while he passes out i grab half of this giant human-sized donut that had been sitting in my room. no idea why. i guess it’s so old part of it had molded black and was flaking off. a thin shell of the glaze type stuff remained and i carried it to the living room, part with donut, but most of it was looking like a piece of snakeskin (flat). not sure what i intended to do with it. make the zombies sick with mold somehow???

when i get back in the living room, i drop the mold donut in shock. karen and tinwin are on the couch, looking like they are asleep. my nameless lover is on the couch next to them, also ‘asleep’. it’s fucked up. they’ve attached some kind of mechanical pump to him that looks like a bunch of koolaid type drink packets strung together. a girl is sitting on his lap, also asleep, and his fluids are being pumped to her for some reason. two “head zombies” are to the right, supervising. i’m not sure what they are doing, but i somehow have the idea that they are going to be using him to sell some kind of soft drink that really rich people can buy to keep themselves from being zombies. i guess zombies need money too…??? i feel completely helpless because i can’t do anything to help him. it’s completely disturbing. i think about touching him to hopefully turn him into a zombie, but am afraid of killing him since machines are attached to him. in retrospect, i think i should have put him out of his misery, but there surely must have been a selfish aspect to that too.

vivian:
i’m at this old building in kirkland. mf magazine is having a fashion party, and i’m going to be an interim person who is throwing it. i’m calling and texting everyone i know to tell them to come. aeryn is there. i’m walking downstairs and about to text jennie, and i run into chol, who is going to be going to spokane that evening. as a result, i don’t ask him to come. jennie calls as i’m talking to chol, and the ringtone that comes on when she calls is some cheesy techno song. i don’t ever ask her to come to my party, because she’s calling to warn me that the secret service is coming to get me because i had been at this shady place in california when some murder went down or something (this was in my dream memory, not my real memory).

the secret service agents pull up in this big white van, and i walk away while still on the phone. i call aeryn and tell him that secret service is coming, and that he is basically in charge, even though someone else more appropriate (i forget who it is) is there. that’s okay, though,. aeryn is trying to find a number for a pizza place because since i’m not going to be there, there’s some problems with catering?!!! and so he’s trying to find an alternative.

i say that i’ll try to talk myself out of the secret service thing.

i go downstairs and they are putting random people into their car, only now their car isn’t a van — it’s one of these like, big passenger trolley things, where the back half doesn’t have a roof or cover… hard to explain, but it’s something you’d like, more likely find at an amusement park.

i explain to the secret service that i run a magazine and am throwing an event this evening, and that if i’m not present, i’ll lose hella money. one hispanic secret service agent in particular says, okay, we get you next time. i call aeryn and tell him it’s okay. i go upstairs. i don’t know what time it is, but by now more people have shown up. eva is there, but she soon disappesrs. liz, ray, nate davis, and randoms galore… it’s a three part room (see drawing below). lenny is running around who knows where. i’m texting liz and listing who is at the party already, and i list “liz” in my text message; i’m texting liz about herself. and i look to my right and liz is sitting right there in the room, and to the right of liz is ANOTHER liz. i’m confused and don’t stick around to investigate.

some caterer shows up and suddenly it shifts to a third person view of myself. i’m a white lady. i talk to someone about the mf magazine fashion show that’s supposed to happen, and i’m told that it’s not going to happen because mf has already had their fashion show. my third-person view gets mad, saying that it was shady that mf would sell me a contract to throw their fashion show when they knew that they had an event already. it put me in a pickle.

i run downstairs, and now it’s first person view again. two old men are wearing guard uniforms and standing in front of a table. their uniforms are like a hybrid of english and scottish guard uniforms. i say, “whoa! this is a crown hotel?” and they say yes.

i go upstairs and there’s music playing, and everyone starts to dance. a lot more people have shown up… i’m now unconcerned with whether more people show up. i start dancing with this random bald guy. he’s skinny, and kinda thuggish, and wearing a wifebeater. but the dance with him is amazing, almost as if it were choreographed. he’s leading the whole time and i’m just following. i’ve never met him before, but i’m just following his movements and everything is going extremely smoothly, except for the occasional step i need to take back from him because i’m in way too close. he comments on how i have good balance cause i’m doing all these complicated turns and junk. the comment makes me more confident and i keep dancing, but ad-lib moves, which include quick inward movements that involve my face being right up next to his… it’s pretty intimate.

before i know it, a circle has gathered around us and all these people are watching him and i dance. the whole time, i’m ultra smitten by him. the dance is like magical, like the one between patrick dempsey and the girl at the end of the movie “enchanted” — but way more complicated, skilled, contemporary, and awesome.

vivian:
there are some people who can speak to ghosts, and apparently, ghosts are connected to energy. for some reason, energy manifests itself in the form of green pieces of string almost that connect the ghosts to the person exuding the energy. i am told by a lady who can speak to ghosts — and see the lines connecting the ghosts to me — that because i have a lot of energy, ghosts are attracted to me. i see from a third person point of view as she disconnects three strings that are running between a ghost and i, and she basically just swats them away with her hands.

there is a little boy ghost who i can see and speak to. he needs to accomplish a task, but he is in a bathroom, and there is a string in the bathroom that dictates how far away he can go. he wants to go to the supermarket, but it is further away than the string will allow him to go. he asks me to help — maybe he wants me to go there for him. it is complicated, but i don’t remember details. i don’t think i ever physically go to the supermarket.

vivian:
someone is looking for a roommate. i think i applied, but when i got there, it turned into a third-person view, and i was not me, but a he. the he had applied for the room without knowing anything about the roommate. he had assumed it would be a person around the same age as him. /fail. she was an old lady. after he got in the house, the view turned movie-like. the camera started off in his room, focusing on him. it showed that he was loudly playing music. then it panned through the wall onto the piano teacher, who was gritting her teeth angrily, while trying to teach a kid to play piano. the camera zooms in on her face in a cartoon-esque way — “delicatessen” style, as you hear the classical piano being somewhat overridden by the loud music.