i’m “let go” from my job, aka fired. i’m devastated, and after pleading with my boss, he says, “no, please leave.” it’s really scary because i often wonder if “cutting it” with my new gig, and in the dream, i’m not. following the firing and devastation, i’m out late at night with some people, and i am teaching them how to vigorously shake parking meters to get the quarters. i fill my pockets with so many quarters! it’s crazy.

inspiration: i have been working crazy hours and although not SUPER stressed out about work, it has definitely been the “it” thing in my life since the team transition.

i’m with micah and we’re lying on a bed or something. a really cute little tiny monkey comes and we’re trying to get its attention and the monkey crawls into my hand and really likes me or something. i’m slightly afraid it’s going to bite me, but it never does.

i’m on the phone with jeanette, and she is kind of freaking out, saying that all her friends are in a different spot in life or something, implying that all of them don’t have any responsibilities instead of her, and that she’s jealous about it. i say something like, “trust me, i wish i had responsibilities; this unemployment thing is only exciting for the first couple months.” or something.

so i was having an e-party at my parent’s house in danville. (the old house, not the new one) and i was hanging out with people in my (old) room and i think like half the party had gone by and i realized omg. i haven’t even dropped yet. ha ha. so after a while, i did and then soon after, the cops showed up. ps peewu was selling to me. ha haha haa so random. anyways as soon as i did, the cops showed up and other people went downstairs to deal with them. i remember hiding the little baggie of 4-5 pills in my closet. and i remember in the dream i remember, if they have dogs i’m fucked. but i hid it in a tupperware shelf in the closet and ya. so after a while of “avoiding” them, they approached me in the house. and i had to say, yes my parents own this house. and i was walking around with them in the upstairs. then i remember asking them if we were in trouble, and they said no, or something along those lines. but said, your parents are going to have to pay 33,000 dollars because we have been inspecting the house and they need new drains and shower heads.

aHaH um wtf.

anyways. i cant remember if this next (part of the?) dream was at the same time, before, after, same dream etc. but i also have recollection of being involved in this work thing. where i had to give part of a presentation on new media stuff (which i do at work) – and that i was totally fucking it up. basically before the actual presentation someone from another office (who was pretty senior, i think) called me for some background info and i started bs’ing shit and i think he totally called me out on it. then all i remember is during the actual presentation i was fuckin’ shit up! fsu.

inspiration: my friends have been trying to get me to go to EDC (a rave). and i’m just not sure i want to go. for a number of reasons. and the best word to describe my feelings on going is, “uneasy” – for some reason, i just am! it could be a number of things. the atmosphere, the age of the crowd, what i’ll be doing there, how i’ll feel the next day, etc. i’m sure it would be fun, just not sure if i’m looking to partake in that kind of FUN anymore. anyways so last night had dinner with some of the girls and that came up, whether or not im going. i still said, i don’t know. i said that if i could find cheap tix the day of off of craigslist, that i would…but im not too sure i’m down for that.

i’m at work, for some reason though my engineering firm i work for is working on the production of a play so the whole thing takes place on a stage.  there are two layers of set design.  each layer starts from the right side of the stage.  the first one is about 6 feet tall and crosses half the stage, the second one is 8 feet tall and covers 3/4 of the stage.

each of the sets is just a simple colored wall (light bluish).  my main area of concern seems to be inbetween the two.  it seems that i have a few responsibilities.  my main responsibility is to be the personal assistant to one of the main actors.  i feed him lines, help him with his costume etc.  my second duty is to play a small role of a character that is never seen by the audience.  i think it’s a small boy.

it seems like most of the characters are puppets maybe?  but people control them (keep in mind, each of the actors are people i work with, but we’re engineers even in the dream.  this is like some cooky side project).  i bring up the fact that we are not trained professional actors, set designers, writers, etc and that this play is going to suck massively.  no one else seems to care.  they seem to be concerned with whether we’ll have enough fake snow to drop on the stage for the final scene, where some asian guy runs across the stage with a doll?  it’s supposed to mean something to the audience, like a twist to the end of the play.

now it’s the end of the play, right after the asian guy has run across the stage.  except now the stage is on a big snow covered mountain, and i have a new job.  there are little asian kids and their parents all around and it’s my job to safely deliver them to the top of the mountain.  luckily there is a rope tow on the side of the stage and a bunch of sleds for me to put the kids on.  there are two types of sleds, the smaller type (made for the smallest children) has a retractable cover.  i sit the a kid on one of these and try to cover him up but he’s too big, so i move him to the next sled.  this sled lets the kid sit down with his legs out (rather than indian style) and the cover only goes just over top of his head rather than covering the whole sled like the small ones.  i set the cover over him and set him on the snow trying to figure out  how to hook him onto the rope tow.  eventually i figure it out and he starts up the hill.  his parents are freaking out.  i decide they probably have a valid concern since i have no idea why we’re on a mountain, where the rope tow goes, or how the kid is gonna get off.

i don’t care, i proceed to the next kid.  this one fits in the small sled.  i put him on the rope tow as well.  then i decide that the rope tow looks fun, so i jump on a sled myself and go up the mountain.

i’m at this old building in kirkland. mf magazine is having a fashion party, and i’m going to be an interim person who is throwing it. i’m calling and texting everyone i know to tell them to come. aeryn is there. i’m walking downstairs and about to text jennie, and i run into chol, who is going to be going to spokane that evening. as a result, i don’t ask him to come. jennie calls as i’m talking to chol, and the ringtone that comes on when she calls is some cheesy techno song. i don’t ever ask her to come to my party, because she’s calling to warn me that the secret service is coming to get me because i had been at this shady place in california when some murder went down or something (this was in my dream memory, not my real memory).

the secret service agents pull up in this big white van, and i walk away while still on the phone. i call aeryn and tell him that secret service is coming, and that he is basically in charge, even though someone else more appropriate (i forget who it is) is there. that’s okay, though,. aeryn is trying to find a number for a pizza place because since i’m not going to be there, there’s some problems with catering?!!! and so he’s trying to find an alternative.

i say that i’ll try to talk myself out of the secret service thing.

i go downstairs and they are putting random people into their car, only now their car isn’t a van — it’s one of these like, big passenger trolley things, where the back half doesn’t have a roof or cover… hard to explain, but it’s something you’d like, more likely find at an amusement park.

i explain to the secret service that i run a magazine and am throwing an event this evening, and that if i’m not present, i’ll lose hella money. one hispanic secret service agent in particular says, okay, we get you next time. i call aeryn and tell him it’s okay. i go upstairs. i don’t know what time it is, but by now more people have shown up. eva is there, but she soon disappesrs. liz, ray, nate davis, and randoms galore… it’s a three part room (see drawing below). lenny is running around who knows where. i’m texting liz and listing who is at the party already, and i list “liz” in my text message; i’m texting liz about herself. and i look to my right and liz is sitting right there in the room, and to the right of liz is ANOTHER liz. i’m confused and don’t stick around to investigate.

some caterer shows up and suddenly it shifts to a third person view of myself. i’m a white lady. i talk to someone about the mf magazine fashion show that’s supposed to happen, and i’m told that it’s not going to happen because mf has already had their fashion show. my third-person view gets mad, saying that it was shady that mf would sell me a contract to throw their fashion show when they knew that they had an event already. it put me in a pickle.

i run downstairs, and now it’s first person view again. two old men are wearing guard uniforms and standing in front of a table. their uniforms are like a hybrid of english and scottish guard uniforms. i say, “whoa! this is a crown hotel?” and they say yes.

i go upstairs and there’s music playing, and everyone starts to dance. a lot more people have shown up… i’m now unconcerned with whether more people show up. i start dancing with this random bald guy. he’s skinny, and kinda thuggish, and wearing a wifebeater. but the dance with him is amazing, almost as if it were choreographed. he’s leading the whole time and i’m just following. i’ve never met him before, but i’m just following his movements and everything is going extremely smoothly, except for the occasional step i need to take back from him because i’m in way too close. he comments on how i have good balance cause i’m doing all these complicated turns and junk. the comment makes me more confident and i keep dancing, but ad-lib moves, which include quick inward movements that involve my face being right up next to his… it’s pretty intimate.

before i know it, a circle has gathered around us and all these people are watching him and i dance. the whole time, i’m ultra smitten by him. the dance is like magical, like the one between patrick dempsey and the girl at the end of the movie “enchanted” — but way more complicated, skilled, contemporary, and awesome.

i was on a date with this guy and we hadn’t smoked, but i was high. i then had to go to my old boss’ house to babysit her kid. and when i got there, things were OK, then i was like, “oh, i invited this guy i’m seeing, to come over and watch a movie with me while i’m here.” and she got PISSED. she said a few things to indirectly say that she knew i was high (because i took so long to tell her and was very verbose) anyways, long story short she was PISSED and in a later scene i came in and she was laying down on a guestbed? and said something to the effect that i was dead to her! OMG. (PS i am really close to my old boss!) and it was really REALLY traumatizing. the date that i had in my dream is actually happening tonight, and thank goodness i am NOT scheduled to babysit her kid tonight (actually, they are out of town and i am house sitting and going over after work for a bit, but anyways).

i was working from my parent’s house one day and my mom walked into the room i was working in and asked me if something was wrong with the internet. i said nothing was wrong and it was working for me. she pressed the issue and said, “no, i think something is really wrong.” at that point, my internet shut down. i closed my laptop and heard the sound of a mob in the distance — screaming and crying.

my mom looked at me and said, “i think this the end of america as we know it.”

i quickly locked all the doors in the house and walked towards the couch to join my sister in watching what was unfolding on TV. on my way to join her, i looked out the window and saw a mother covering up her deceased young child with a blanket. i saw another mother walking and holding the hand of her toddler-aged child, but as i was watching, the child collapsed.

on the news, there were stories about young and old dying across the world. people were having involuntary muscle movements and just laying on the ground. i remember feeling faint and sitting on the carpet in the TV room.

then i woke up.