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vivian:
i send out a myspace bulletin asking if anyone wants to go to a movie with me, which is odd behavior to begin with. i don’t recall anyone responding, but before i know it, i’m at lars’ apartment complex and to get to his apartment, we have to cross through a metal gate and then walk down this like, really shallow sloped hallway. he has a deflated ball the size of a baseball in his hand and holds it up, smiling. i’m not sure why, but then i see that he has thrown it town the sloped area and was trying to make it hit the button to the left of the door that automatically makes the door opened for handicapped people. he misses, so i try. then a couple other people show up — i think eugene and someone else equally random — and i try throwing the ball at the handicapped door opener thing. but there are all sorts of people out and about now, and i’m afraid of accidentally hitting someone. also, now the ceiling is lower and it seems near impossible to be able to throw the ball and hit the opener. i make a vague, weak attempt and fail at hitting it, by a long shot.

so eventually we go onto the movie theatre, which is in olympia. the quest there is not something that i remember; i only remember actually being there. it’s in an old movie house with dark carpeting and dim lighting. i’m standing around the snack dispensing counter area and now lenny is here… him, lars, and eugene (or maybe random guy) run off into another room and start chatting it up. i’m with some other people who i don’t know but i think i am speaking to? a lot of time passes, or at least it feels like it, and i’m not sure exactly what time the movie starts but i feel like maybe it has already started, so i run into the other room and tell the three boys it’s time to go watch the movie. they seem rather surprised.

we go to the rooms with the theatres, and they are these little tiny rooms set up like dining rooms. they have tables and chairs strewn throughout. we sit in the far right corner (upon first walking in). i need to go to the bathroom so i tell the three of them that i’ll be right back. i go to the bathroom. it’s white tile. it’s crowded. there are three people in stalls already and one girl in front of me, who soon goes into a stall. the girl behind me grabs a key from somewhere in that bathroom and leaves, saying she is going to use the kitchen bathroom.

finally a couple girls are done. one opens the door and the floor is all wet. i think that’s gross, but it’s no big deal. then she says, “i think i already clogged it.” i look and there is just poop all over the floor — these huge ass long ass poops. and inside the toilet bowls too. three other stalls open up. they are all the same. just fucking covered with shit. i don’t know if i actually go poop because it is all so disgusting. i see two mini-sinks and think about using those for pooping somehow but i don’t. fuck, it’s pretty gross. words cannot describe the grossness… although, strangely, it didn’t smell? O__o

i go back to the movie room and the three boys are still sitting in the same table configuration (lenny to my left, lars to my across diagonal, random person to my across), but the table is located elsewhere now. it’s no longer the corner table. lenny says, “you were gone ten minutes!” like that was a long time or something. him and lars are going to start a business together or something… the movie has amazingly still not begun yet.

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vivian:
everything i see is different from what is in reality. my perception is all fucked. kristin cerniglia has the same problem or had the same problem; she has found a way to overcome it. she seems reluctant to share the details with me or something. i am standing outside in a yard freaking out because my perception is screwed up there (i forget how exactly) and i call her up. her voicemail is a shared voicemail between her and her boyfriend, and the message goes on for seemingly forever. and it was just a bunch of rambling, and even stranger was the fact that the voice was “hers” but didn’t sound like hers at all. at the end of the voicemail thing, there wasn’t even a way for me to be able to leave a message.

later on, i’m in a building and some old guys try and help me out because they believe me. i explain to them my situation and they devise these weird experiments. i think there are like four of them, and two of them leave the room to grab nails, i think, and the other two left screw some weird screws into a chair that already has holes for the screws. like……….. imagine the seat of the chair has slots that make it look like side 5 of a 6-sided dice… that’s where they put the screws in. they’re trying to see if maybe my perception will screw up the distance from one screw to another… strange stuff. the other two guys don’t come back or maybe they do. i don’t remember what my perception of the chair was like, but one of the guys to my right — the most talkative one — says for me to picture the chair in my head and slowly remove each screw from the chair one by one, and that that would somehow help cleanse me of my perception problem. i try doing it and it feels weird in my head as i remove each screw… but because it feels weird, i assume that perhaps it is doing something…?

something about joining an artist collective group. i think by this point i consciously knew that my ‘perception was skewed’ and was trying to make it skewed as much as possible. was looking at a lot of art and it all looked a little off. don’t know details.