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jeanette:
i had a dream that this guy (bob schaeffer *fake name*) hated me. he’s jordana’s bff from college who is now her roommate. and he dates (kind of?) stacy.

anyways. he hasn’t always been my favorite person. in fact, currently, he is still on my “eh” list – but i have grown to like him more and more in the past few months.

in the dream, he was the LEADER of a group of people who were my “friends” that hated me. like, HATED. it was such a horrible feeling. not that i particularly care if they love me. but i guess, just like in real life, i dont need to be LOVED by everyone but it really does feel awful to be hated. intensely, hated. part of the reason they hated me was because they had gotten to my planner, which doubles as a journal (not currently, but has in the past) and read about how i talked shit about them. etc. childish. regardless.

oh ya, and even tho it was so very fake (not a REALITY dream, where all the components are real) but like certain things that i thought (in my dream) really did happen. like when i found out josh HATED ME. i thought to myself, but at the beer pong tournament when he was BBQ’ing for everyone, i was being super nice and gave him more than one hug for making food for everyone. ahhaha. like that. dream, not real. but thought back to real things that DID happen. am i confusing anyone?

weird. and strange and horrible. i woke up thinking something i never thought would cross my mind especially not first thought when waking: “OMG DOES BOB SCHAEFFER HATE ME?”

sounds like some silly cheeseball teen movie. or tv show. or some silly teen’s real life reality.