Tag Archives: nightmares

I am at a concert in a big arena-type room, although it is simultaneously really grungy, like some sort of punk basement venue. Midtown is slated to be on the bill, though I think some other band opens for them; Swahili is also on the bill, but towards the end of the show. One band takes the stage and people begin to emerge out of nowhere, and I am shocked at the number of people that have appeared so suddenly. I think I comment about it to Swahili, but then realize that those people are not there to see them, as they’re not taking the stage yet. Everyone is there to see a band I don’t know; I think they are some sort of pop-punk or punk band (the one that is opening for Midtown). Soon, Duchess Says takes the stage, or at least their lead singer does. Swahili provides the instrumentals (primarily synths?) for her, though they’re not on stage with her and as far as I can tell, no one is actually playing any of the instruments. The sound is fucked; there seems to be some sort of problem, and a couple of people from Swahili are working on trying to figure it out, but they don’t seem to know what the problem is. The rest of the Duchess Says band is nowhere to be seen. I am sitting, watching, close near the stage, and a girl is on my left, talking to me. She is asking about marriage, or something similar, though I don’t know what the context is (it feels bizarrely appropriate, though). I eventually tell her that I have a boyfriend, and that he is in Swahili, and point to Troy.

Fast-forward, and I am in a giant white-walled maze complex that is a very strange apartment building complex. I don’t actually see apartments – just a lot of hallways and stairs and such. Troy and I get in some sort of fight, and he says I am saying shitty things. As I am walking up a set of stairs with him behind me, I see a doll hanging from a noose. It is wearing a white business collared shirt and a tie. I think it’s a real man, but as I get closer to it, I realize that it’s a tiny doll. Once I get up the stairs, I see a whole arrangement of tons of miniature dolls. It is here that Troy breaks up with me though not explicitly; it is a series of events that implies that he is breaking up with me, and they are evil. Evidently, Troy had wished for some sort of magic companion, and a miniature pink and rather lumpy or curvy doll magnetizes to his hand; it just appears out of nowhere. It doesn’t look like a person or anything; it looks like some sort of fictional monster-esque or symbolic mythological character. These hanging dolls give off the feeling of being like voodoo dolls, though again, they look more cartoonish than that. The one that magnetizes to Troy’s hand comes with a rune thing that’s like a grey leather sack or something, and there are tons of glyphs on it. One of the glyphs is an outline of Troy’s magic doll companion, situated towards the lower left of the sack (that is divided into two vertical columns). It is the largest glyph on the sack, and for some reason, seeing it scares me immensely; it makes me think that the doll is very, very authentic. I get the sense that the doll’s whole purpose is to put a curse on me, or to kill me, and I am terrified… because evidently, I’d been similarly cursed before – perhaps in the current dream life, perhaps in a previous dream life.

I run away crying. Troy does not follow. I run through the white mazed halls again, and go downstairs via I think an elevator in half-open part of the building, and exit. It is a pretty stereotypical apartment building complex by the time I reach the outside, maybe similar to Lewis’ or Lenny’s, but there are these adjoined garages, in which I have a room. I get to my room, and it is small and fairly messy (of course). There are things all over the place, but what I am trying to get to, it seems, is my magic bed. I believe it flies. But once I get there, a girl comes in extremely bummed out about an experience she had just had, involving a sad kid on a plane – I don’t remember details now, but it was rather tragic. I am unfazed and uninterested, and tell her, “I just got my heart ripped out of my chest,” as an indicator that I’m having my own problems and don’t really want to hear more sad stories.

this woman and i are walking a baby penguin, or a baby something. it’s a bird. its back is black. its wings are flipperish. it can swim. it has some yellow spikey feathers near its head, though, so it isn’t exactly a penguin. looks like a penguin with a little yellow crown, i guess, or a mohawk. i don’t know. this is a weird walk, cause we are somewhere tropical, walking along a beach. there is a little island not far from shore at all, so we swim, and the bird follows like it’s a dog or something, always 5-20 feet away, checking stuff out and coming closer if we get too far apart. in any case, asides from the awesomeness of walking a baby penguin… the only thing that happens beyond that is that at one point during our swim, we come near a tiny little island that is a nesting ground for some other type of bird… and little penguin just climbs out of the water with its flipperwings and tries to walk across it. it gets pounced and partially ravaged by some birds there. i think they’re going to kill it because they’re so much bigger, but i make it out of the water before the penguin’s too badly injured, and i throw ghandfuls of gravel/sand at the birds and they give us some room. we walk off the island and continue.

then i have a dream about walking through some really psychedelic woods. the lighting is all weird. huge amounts of aqua and light blues. occasionally mild oranges and reds. the place is full of snakes. i am mostly running the whole time because i think the snakes are the least of my worries, though i can’t remember why. there are crazy mushrooms in there. it’s a stoner dream, emo. i have to be cautious as i near the various snakes, and then after that, i can see where everything is, so i would sprint a bit and then go back to being stealthy. i think it may have physically connected to the other dream — like maybe i swam out of the water onto an island which contains these woods, but the woman and penguin are gone and the feeling is more nightmarish. i don’t know.

after that, i find a building. it’s really big. it’s like an old 1960’s hospital or something. then the dream turns rather zombie-apocalypse. i forget what happens exactly, but i am under the impression that i have been running out of the woods from zombies. in any case, i’m picking my way through the well-lit hospital, and there is mos def scary shit around, but it sounds pretty far away. i hear someone scream in the distance on occasion, but the hallway that i’m in is pretty much dead… i’m just trying to find people. it’s a full-on nightmare at this point.. my dreams have a certain flavor to them when they are nightmares. something can be a nightmare without anything particualrly bad happening (though something bad usually happens). to describe the feeling… i’d say its like sitting at the movies and watching a horror film… but you haven’t seen any blood and guts yet. it has that feel.. and your mind looks for something sinister even during the mundane plot development. thats what my nightmares feel like… something bad is going to happen at some point. so then, i’m crossing a bridge between wings of the hospital (not too disimilar to the layout of a hospital i worked at when i was 14-18) and the sounds of people yelling get much, much closer, and i think they’re further down the same hall i’m in. i start running towards the sounds, and i notice a row of operating tables occupying the left wall of this wide hallway. i hear the people very close now… but i’m temporarily more intested in what’s on these tables. there are a few corpses… some fresh, some old (though there is no smell/flies/anything, really). some have white sheets, but there is one table that has a naked female lying on her side. her body is painted silver. the paint is thick; it can almost be a skin-tight suit, but i think it’s more like latex paint or something. her face is completely painted over, obscuring any facial features. there are crimson lines in the paint. i’m not sure why exactly. they mostly look decorative. one may have been a belt. another may have been a shoulder strap… and then there is a wide oval circling where both her eyes would’ve been, as if she were some sort of silver cyclops. her mouth is smoothed over by this latex-like metalic silver mask/suit thing. her hair is dirty grey-beige and looks like a wet hairbrush. it’s unclear if she is really a human body or more like some weakly-featured scuplture. it’s also unclear how her hair comes out of this suit, given that her body is pretty much sealed by it… which makes me think, maybe it is skin. in any case, my fascination with the silver corpse comes to an end as numerous people come running down the hall… perhaps 6-10 people, and they slam a door at the end of the hall. they are panting and yelling at each other. then they see me, they say some things to me, and i’m not sure what’s going on. they were running from something, for sure. they are talking a million miles a minute at me. i’m not sure whats going on. and then the sivler corpse moves a little bit. everyone starts screaming, and someone yells something about a “silver shrieker”… or it was something like that. they all scatter. i just stand there staring at her. she grabs a syringe from near her operating table and starts to scratch at where her eyes would be. i see the silver tear. there is something gooey and beige/grey underneath. it’s mucousy as the silver peels back from whatever is underneath. something yells at me, “DON’T LET HER SEE YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOINGGGG!” it occurs to me that i am super fucked, and the fear of the group possess me. her face is almost free of whatever that silver stuff is, and she is going to see me, so i dive into a room which is immediately behind me and across from her. it makes a lot of noise, and three people are in there cowering. i hide just around the corner from the doorway (there is no door), and just as fast as i make it there, i hear the silver woman pounce off her table onto the floor and scamper towards me. her face comes around the edge of the door and pauses one foot away from me. i’m holding super still, trying not to breathe, but her face is terrifying. the flesh near her eyes just sinks like the interior of a flower… sinks towards a tiny stem that comes out like the male sex organ of a flower. the tiny stems that must be eyes or some form of sensory organ are a dark blood-ish purple.. and they move very slowly as if tasting the air. it’s like a decay flesh flower, or perhaps like the tongue of a snake, at the same time. her mouth is huge and lipless… large teeth, all canines interlock… and she opens her mouth and mucous and slimy shit is pulled apart as the teeth separate. i’m so scared that i start to hyperventilate. i’m trying to control the movement of my chest. it’s very mild; i hope she cant see me breathing. i’m guessing she can’t see if i don’t move because she hasn’t killed me yet, but the panic in me is getting so strong she has to go away or surely she will see me moving. i’m trying so hard to control my breathing that i am almost completely physically awake at this point. but the dream continues, very shallowly as she backs out of the room and i hear her fleshy feet pat their way down the hall. i don’t plan on moving for the next hour and then i fully wake up.